"Knowing my own father arranged for my almost marriage to disintegrate at the fucking altar in front of a full church of wedding guests still grates."
"She wasn't the right wife for you…obviously, and beneath this family. Can you deny you're not better off without her now?"
That last part stung like a bitch because he was right on that one point. I was better off without Leah in my life. But even worse was knowing how I'd been played by the people who shouldn't have dreamed of playing me. At the time, it had been beneficial for Leah to leave.
Beneficial for him…and for Ted Robinson.
My father cared only about himself, and that wouldn't change until he took his last breath on this earth. Rage got the upper hand over my self-control and I jumped up from the chair. "Why do you feel entitled to dictate the who and the when I should marry?"
He shrugged. "Because I can, and because it behooves me to have both of my children happily settled with families of their own. Family values will be the impetus of my campaign. Family. Values." His frustration was beginning to show. "You are going to get some."
Happily married, my ass. He wouldn't even know what that is. "And how do you suggest I do this?"
He made a sound of disgust. "Do I really have to spell this out for you, son?"
"Since it's me you're asking to do this? Yeah, you do, Dad."
He settled back into the luxurious leather. "Marry a girl from a good family and get her pregnant. I am assuming you can figure that part of it—" He paused, his expression changing to one of interest. "Or get her pregnant first, and then marry her."
"I'm not doing any of—"
"In fact, a surprise pregnancy might work even better to endorse our support of traditional values with a thoroughly modern interpretation." He tapped his lips with an index finger and looked genuinely pleased for the first time since I'd entered his office.
"Have you lost your mind? I'm not getting a girl pregnant to benefit your fucking political ambitions."
"Careful now," he warned. "You will do exactly as I've outlined. And you will settle down and get to work on creating the picture-perfect family I need standing in support of the legacy I am building. It's not like I'm asking you to do anything you wouldn't do eventually, James. People grow up and get married. They have children. It's the only reason marriage exists. Why are you struggling with this?"
I had to fight off the urge to shudder out my revulsion. Of course he'd see the notion of marriage for reproduction only. It certainly wasn't there for love. The thought of standing on a podium somewhere forced to cheer on my father in support was just too much to have to stomach this early in the day. "Fuck you," I mumbled under my breath, hating that I didn't have the guts to spit it in his egotistical face.
"You will not fuck this up for me, James."
"What if I don't find someone?"
"I suggest you do if you want to be involved with the choice. If you can't manage to find a suitable bride on your own, then one will be found for you. A suitable bride, James. Not one of the whores from the club. Wealth is not as important as an upstanding family background for showing we can relate to solid middle class—"
"Just listen to yourself," I said disgustedly. "How in the hell do you—"
r /> "Know that I can, and I will if you disregard my wishes. I am able to make just about anything happen to suit my needs, and I won't hesitate to follow through if you fail me."
"So you're just taking over my life to serve yourself?" I could hardly wrap my head around this conversation.
"You're thinking too hard, and I am weary of this conversation. I expect some forward movement on this issue by Thanksgiving. Your mother so looks forward to having her children home for the day."
Yeah, and she's the sole reason we go. "That's only three weeks from now."
"Bring your prospective bride to meet us so we can get to know this new daughter who will be mother to my future grandchildren." The smile he gave looked a bit maniacal. "Children, who will enjoy the honor and privilege of visiting their grandfather in the Oval Office someday."
Please, God, don't ever let that happen.
He then returned his attention to whatever document was in front of him and acted as if I wasn't in the room. My father had finished with me for the moment, so I was effectively dismissed.
I didn't remember leaving his office, but once I felt the warmth of the autumn sun seeping through the clouds, I knew I'd made it out somehow.
The fuck did my father think he could control my life in this way?
I stood among the foot traffic moving in both directions around me, and I felt…chilled. Cold with fear and worry. Cold like a winter fury.
Cold like winter.