Caleb was already thirty-one. Lucas and Wyatt turned thirty in a few months. Willow and Roger would tie the knot in July. So that left me hanging in the breeze for another six years. It wasn't like I wanted to piss it away, either. I was ready...ready to make my dreams come true. Yes, I had money for school and to live comfortably, but it wasn't the kind of money I needed to fund a new shelter for mothers and children in need.
"Miss Winter, what does pumpkin pie taste like?" Sweet little Shane blasted away my worries for the moment and brought me back to the here and now.
"You will get to find out tomorrow at the feast," I told him with a little tweak to his nose.
"But what if I don't like it?" he asked worriedly.
"If you don't like it, then you don't have to eat it, but maybe you will love it. Did you ever think of that? Maybe pumpkin pie is your new most favorite food in the whole wide world and you just don't know it yet." I winked at him.
"You're funny, Miss Winter."
"Thanks, Shane. I'll take that as a compliment." He nodded at me but I got the feeling he didn't really understand. "I'm good at something else besides being funny," I offered.
"What is it?"
"Well, I make the very, very, very best chocolate-chip cookies in the whole world. I have a trophy to prove it." I didn't share with Shane that my trophy was from a bake-off competition at summer camp that earned me third place, but he didn't need those confusing details. The bottom line was simple: I made awesome chocolate-chip cookies.
"You do?" Shane asked in awe.
I nodded slowly for emphasis. "And I'm going to bring some of my world-famous chocolate-chip cookies to the Thanksgiving feast tomorrow. You know, in case the pumpkin pie isn't your new favorite."
My promise earned me a big smile from Shane. Something I didn't get from him very often, because sadly, things to smile about were few and far between in his young life.
Which only made this smile that much more precious.
A soak in the tub called to me the moment I stepped inside my apartment. I was exhausted. After my day at the center, a trip to campus to sign the attendance and turn in my paper for the ethics class, a dry-cleaners pickup, a mad dash around the market—jam-packed with last-minute shoppers emptying the store of its turkeys, pies, and cranberries—I was just about ready for bed.
But the warm water combined with the Rockstar energy drink I'd been sipping had thankfully revived me, because I still had some chocolate-chip cookies to bake before I could slip in between the sheets on my bed. I'd promised Shane, and I intended to deliver. Everything had been organized for the meal at the center tomorrow. Food ordered and places set for the droves of people who would show up for a traditional meal they'd never have the means nor inclination to prepare for themselves. When I thought about it too much it depressed me. The least I could do was bring a homemade treat for my little friends. I wondered if Shane and Brenna's mom had ever made cookies for them before they'd fallen on hard times. I knew there had been a husband or father at one point, but certainly didn't know their family history. Young children could only relay so much reliable information, and even then, you had to remember it came filtered through a six-year-old's view of the world. Very different from how an adult would see things. Yeah…depressing.
I finished the last of my drink and hauled myself out of the cooling water. As I reached for a towel to dry off I heard the clink of metal directly above me. I knew that sound.
James.
I could hear him moving around sometimes if I was in a quiet moment at my place like it was right now.
He was exercising in his home gym.
The weights or bars were clacking against each other on whatever piece of equipment he was using. I could also tell if he used the rowing machine, and when he ran on his treadmill. Each had its own distinct sound.
I hadn't seen him since my little meltdown in his car a week ago. Jesus, I'd almost confessed my feelings for him. He had a way of demanding things from me that I couldn't deny. At my core I was a pleaser. I wanted to please him, so when James demanded I tell him what I wanted—there was a really good chance I would've done it. Victoria's spectacularly timed interruption had saved me from embarrassing myself past the point of no return.
God bless Victoria forever and ever.
I can't imagine how James would have reacted if I'd actually gotten the words out. I've loved you for years, and I still do. Ha! He probably would have laughed, patted me on the head, and suggested I lay off the wine.
Or maybe he wouldn't have.
I didn't know, and it was definitely his fault I was confused. He kept sending me mixed signals lately, and I was getting tired of it. Screw him for making me mental.
I dried off to the sounds of him working out a mere twelve feet above me and applied my favorite orange citrus body lotion all over my skin—while trying very hard not to imagine how James might look with no shirt and his hard body glistening with sweat. Not the best distraction-free technique I'll admit. With a sigh, I brushed out my hair and twisted it up into a knot secured with a clip to keep it back while I baked.
Inside my closet, I glanced around until I found exactly what I wanted to put on. I was all about comfort at the moment, so my favorite robe was the easy choice. The floral silk felt divine sliding against my naked skin, which was one of the reasons I loved it so much. The fact it was an exquisite hand-painted work of art was another. My mother had given it to me, and if there was one area where she was really talented, it would be in choosing lovely clothes. The items she chose were usually extraordinarily expensive to boot. A present for my last birthday, I knew my beautiful robe had to have cost a fortune—a luxury I would never buy for myself—but since it had been a gift, I enjoyed it very much.
I was only staying up to bake cookies, and there was nobody to see me, but for some reason I headed back to my room for some underwear. Some little niggling voice told me I should be prepared in case James decided to show up at my door.
Weird.