"I kind of figured that one out all on my own, beautiful, and I can see just how much it's upset—"
"It's my fault. I did this—oh my God. James, I told you that first time…when we were together…I said I was protected, but I wasn't. My shot—I missed getting it after Dad died and I just didn't go and get another one. I…I…I…lied…and I don't even know why I lied. I'm sorry—I am so…s-s-sorry for doing this to us—"
She broke down into more crying and couldn't speak anymore after that, so I held her in my arms until she was able to walk out of that clinic with me and let me take her home.
Winter might be devastated now, but I hoped it was temporary devastation. We had a lot to discuss and major plans to make. We could start just as soon as the shock wore off and she was ready. Why was she so…devastated and why had she thought she’d lied? That wasn’t Winter’s MO at all, so she must be in need of some time to evaluate and process. It was certainly much more of an issue for her than it was for me. I couldn't do anything about changing that part for her, though. She knew what was in her own heart, and she would have to come to terms in her own way.
For the second time in my life I'd been given the same news. Leah’s announcement had blindsided me with doubt and filled me with worry. This time, with Winter, neither was present. Instead, the news was my salvation. The answer to prayers I'd never have the balls to actually say, even to myself. Complete opposite reactions coming from me.
I hoped she could come around in her feelings about the baby we'd created; reasoning as simple as the fact she could never leave me if she was having my child. My reasoning was flawed, of course. But then, that was often the case when reasoning with your heart’s desire. Winter was my heart’s desire and she always would be.
It wasn't what I'd expected to happen, or an outcome I'd sought. But it had happened. We were having a baby, and we were getting married, and now, in my mind, those two things were certain. The deep Catholic roots had taught us the rules. Rules that destined us to carry pregnancies to term. Rules that dictated we marry the person we made a baby with if it was legally possible. This was the way it was done. We both knew it without having to voice the points at all. Our families would demand it from us regardless.
Once I had her back to my place, I did something nearly identical to the night she came to me after cutting her hand. I took her into the bathroom, sat her on the countertop, and talked to her. But unlike that night, she wasn't falling in and out of consciousness. Rather, she was hyper-aware, experiencing a much different sort of trauma. And I could clearly see just how traumatic it was for her, which was what worried me the most. She hadn't spoken a word to me in the car on the way home, because she wasn't able, and I knew better than to push. Instead she'd been quiet, staring out the window at the winter gloom and the sprinkling of rain blowing from the clouds. My very traumatized Winter on a wintery day in January.
"I'm running you a bath, okay?" She nodded once, her face a storm of emotion and worry. "It'll be okay, Win. I know we will all be okay."
"But…how do I…how do we have a baby right now?" she asked finally, the suffering in her voice very clear.
"We just do." I took her face in both hands, so she would see me when I said the most important part. "We'll do it…together." It made me realize why I felt nothing but calm at that moment. We’ll do it together. Nothing really mattered now I had Winter as my own, because from now on, everything was with Winter. God. She truly had no clue how much she’d brought to my life.
On that note, I stepped away to start the water before coming back to undress her. I knew what to do. "I'm taking your clothes off." Not a question. She didn't respond other than to be soft and pliable as I worked, helpful even, until I had her exquisitely bare beneath my hands. I caged her in with my arms, loving that I now had her captive, able to focus only on me. Which was all she needed right now. I knew best how to help my Winter.
I took a finger to her brow and traced it down her cheeks where the tears had fallen. I drew it down her neck, and then on farther down between her breasts, before circling one perfect globe in a spiral with my fingertip. She gasped sharply, arching into me when I took her nipple into my mouth to soothe the tightened flesh I'd made. So responsive. So finely made. So beautiful, inside and out. Mine to love.
"You are so beautiful to me. I don't think you’re even aware of how much, "I whispered to her as my mouth covered the other breast and sucked on the nipple until it was tight and tipped dark pink from the attention I was giving it.
Another moan was her response. I kissed my way down until my mouth hovered over her flat belly, the smooth skin hiding something precious behind it. I couldn't help but think about what was happening inside her body. A baby was growing—our baby. "Every time you give yourself to me I love you even more. Always so generous, I am in awe of you." I replaced my mouth with my hand and splayed it out on her stomach. "We have something precious between us right here. Something that's part you and me together…that was made with love."
I felt the change in her body as she heard me, the battling of emotions silently screaming inside her as she processed the truth I'd spoken. I was torn between leaving it there and pushing her for just a bit more.
"Look at me, Winter."
She lifted her head and locked her eyes with mine, tears flowing anew. One word. It was all she was able to say, but it was a good word. It was enough to show me what she felt beneath all of the fear and the shock.
"Y-y-yess."
I kissed and touched her all over with as much love as I could until she was soft again underneath my hands and mouth, and I knew she was ready for me. I picked her up and carried her into the bath where I helped her into the water first. I stripped out of my clothes before her, silently commanding her to watch me as I got naked. I stroked my cock a few times and studied her expression, her eyes widening for just an instant before growing hooded. She swallowed deeply and adjusted her legs under the water. Her breasts above the water's surface were tinged pink from the heat…and desire. She wants me. More like she needed me. My Winter needed to be taken away by pleasure from the fear of the moment.
My specialty.
I stepped in and settled into position, grateful the tub was so large to accommodate both of us easily. "Come here, beautiful. You need to be fucked first and then we'll talk." I reached for her, bringing her over my lap to straddle me. I did not ask. Instead, I split her wide and thrust my cock into her slippery heat quickly and deep. She was so ready it was easy, even with the added friction of the water.
For once she didn't take it silently.
Winter needed to let off some of the tension while being fucked this time apparently. She told me she wanted it harder right before she came the first time. So, I fucked her harder and did some things that put marks on her flawless body…and mixed in a little bit of sweet pain with the pleasure. Her words and cries told me I got it right as she came the second time with me.
Whatever my girl needs.
After the bath—and one more hard fuck—she was ready to talk about it. I didn't mind her process. In fact, I found it brutally honest. Giving the body what it needed so your mind could do what it had to do was about as honest as it got.
She was also a fucking gorgeous sight with her head thrown back, tits shaking, her long hair trailing down to brush my thighs as she squeezed her cunt around my cock. I knew I'd never tire of watching her come.
I settled us side by side in the bed and smoothed her hair back from her face. She was tired, but her mind was busy when the first thing she asked was, "How can you be so easy with this, James? Why is this not making you angry? I don't understand your reaction at all."
"You love me?"