I pulled back and took her face in my hands. I held her in that position so I could really look at her. She never wavered with her eyes. My girl was brave. Life sucked at times but she hung in and didn’t shirk away. I looked at her lips and knew I was going to kiss her whether she wanted it or not. I hoped she wanted it.
Her lovely lips were just as soft and sweet as before. More so because I’d been without them for too long. It felt like heaven having my mouth on hers. I sort of got lost in the moment and forgot we were in public. Lost in my Brynne the instant she responded to me.
She kissed me back and it felt so good to feel her tongue tangling with mine I groaned against her mouth. I knew what I wanted to do. And my requirements were few. Privacy. Brynne naked. If only things were that simple. I remembered we were standing amid a crowd of humanity on the Victoria Embankment and unfortunately not anywhere near private.
I stopped kissing and brushed over her bottom lip with my thumb. “You’ll come with me. Right now.”
She nodded into my hands and I kissed her once more. A thank you kiss.
We didn’t talk as we walked to the Rover. We held hands though. I wasn’t letting go until I had to in order to put her in the car. Once she was in the passenger seat and the doors locked I turned and really looked at her. She looked half starved and it made me angry. I remembered the first night we met and how I got her the Power Bar and the water.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“First? To get you some food.” It came out a little harsher than I wanted it to.
She nodded at me and then looked away, out the window.
“After you eat we’ll get a new cell and mobile number for you. I need to have your old one so I can track whoever tries to contact you. All right?”
She looked down at her lap and nodded again. I almost pulled her into my arms and told her everything would be fine, but I held off.
“Then I’m taking you home. My place—home.”
“Ethan, that’s not a good idea,” she whispered, still looking down at her lap.
“Fuck good ideas,” I exploded. “Would you at least look at me?” She turned her eyes up to mine and smoldered in the seat, a hint of red fire flickering, making them look very brown. I wanted to drag her to me and shake her, force her to understand that this bullshit break-up was a thing of the past. She was coming home with me, period. I turned the key in the ignition.
“What do you want from me, Ethan?”
“That’s easy.” I made a rude noise. “I want to go back to ten days ago. I want to be back in my office, fucking on my desk with you wrapped around me! I want your body underneath mine looking up at me with some expression other than the one I saw when you left me at the lifts!” I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and took in air.
“Okay…Ethan.” Her voice sounded shaky and more than a little defeated.
“Okay, Ethan?” I mocked. “What does that mean? Okay I’m coming home with you? Okay to you and me? Okay, I’ll let you secure me? What? I need more from you, Brynne.” I talked to the windshield because I was scared to see her face right now. What if I couldn’t make her understand—
She leaned toward me and put her hand on my leg. “Ethan, I—I need—I need the truth from you. I have to know what is happening around me—”
I immediately covered her hand with mine. “I know, baby. I was wrong for keeping the information from you—”
She shook her head at me. “No, you don’t know. Let me finish what I was saying.” She put her fingers to my lips to shut me up. “You always interrupt me.”
“Shutting up now.” I grabbed at her fingers with my other hand and held them to my lips. I kissed her fingers and didn’t let go. Hell, I’d take any small opportunities I could get.
“Your honesty and bluntness is one of the things I love about you, Ethan. You always told me what you wanted, what you intended to do, how you felt. You were true with me and it made me feel safe.” She tilted her head and shook it. “You have no idea how much I needed that from you. I didn’t fear the unknown because you were so good at telling me exactly what you wanted to happen with us. That really worked for me. But I trusted you implicitly and you damaged that part between us by not being honest, and by not telling me you were hired to protect me. The fact I need protection at all is a mind fuck for me, but don’t you think I’m entitled to fucking know about it?”
God she was sexy when she was all fired up and said bad words. I gave her a moment of triumph because she was completely in the right.
When she tugged her fingers away from my lips, giving me permission to speak, I mouthed my words more than said them. “I am so sorry.” And I was deeply sorry. I had done wrong. Brynne needed the bare naked truth. She had her reasons; it was a requirement for her and I’d blown it. Wait. Did she just say “one of the things I love
about you”?
“But…since I’ve talked to my dad, and he’s told me things I didn’t know before, I realize it’s not totally your fault. Daddy put you in a position you didn’t ask for…and I’ve been trying to see it from your perspective. Your letter helped me understand.”
“So you forgive me and we can put this bloody mess behind us?” I was hopeful but not completely sure. Just tell me straight up so I can guess where to go from this point. I could work with odds like that.
“Ethan, there’s so much you don’t know about me. You don’t really know what happened to me, do you?”
Brynne gave me a look that belied her years from the amount of anguish in it. I wanted to make the anguish go away if I could. I wished I could tell her it didn’t matter for me to know. If it was horrible and it hurt her to tell me then she didn’t have to. But I knew this wasn’t the way for Brynne. She needed to lay all her cards on the table in order to move forward.