Why? How could she bear to do any of it? I surely couldn’t. I needed to get the fuck out.
But there was no place to hide here, except for the bottom of a pint. Or four. Best thing I could figure to do given the situation.
A former soldier’s wedding with my pregnant bride beside me…
Getting pissed might possibly dull the edge enough I could pull off the nice-and-happy required for a marriage celebration. Or maybe not.
Rather a blessing that Brynne wasn’t feeling much in the party mood actually. This way she might not notice just how fucked in the head her husband was.
I thought I’d handled Sarah’s surprise visit fairly well, given I had absolutely no time to process, before I was expected to go stand up for my friend in front of a crowd of people. And with Brynne right there, glowing with new life and enjoying the moment. No fuckin’ fair.
Don’t say that. None of this is fair. Not for Sarah. And certainly not for Mike.
I’d been too distracted during the ceremony to pay much attention to what Brynne might be noticing. My girl could read me so well. She did not need this worry added to her plate, in addition to feeling ill already. I couldn’t allow it.
I’d thought I might somehow make it through the evening, until Sarah caught me as I was getting fresh, iced water for Brynne. She came to tell me she had to leave…with tears in her eyes. She said she hoped she could have stayed for Neil’s sake, but once she arrived and saw us both, it was just too hard. Too much. Too painful. So she must go.
And I started drinking.
“HOW’S your headache?” Gaby asked.
“Unfortunately for my head, still with me,” I answered wryly. “One of the not-so-nice parts of pregnancy, and the fact I can’t take anything for it, sucks big time.” I lifted the iced water and pressed the side of the glass to my forehead.
“Well, you look beautiful if that helps,” she said, picking at the skirt of her chiffon bridesmaid dress, “and you’ve got a pretty new dress to add to your collection of pretty dresses.” She shrugged. “I’m getting quite an assortment.” Elaina had asked both of us to be in her wedding, which landed Gaby her second stint as a bridesmaid in just seven short weeks. First my wedding, and now Elaina’s—she must be drowning in a sea of lovey-dovey, praying for a rescue.
“You wish you could be anywhere else but here, huh?”
“Of course not. I want to be here, Bree.” She gave me the look that told me so much more than the words she’d just uttered. I knew my friend, and thus was privy to information that confirmed why this would be hard for her.
“You’re a beautiful liar, darling.” I patted her hand affectionately. “But I know Elaina appreciates you being here for her.”
“No, I’m not,” she said stubbornly, taking a sip of something alcoholic that looked wonderful, and I wouldn’t be having. “I don’t want to be anywhere else than right here for Elaina on her wedding day.”
I laughed at my best friend who never seemed to acknowledge her own beauty. Gabrielle Hargreave was one absolutely gorgeous woman, with her mahogany hair and green eyes, and a body that didn’t quit, but she didn’t see it. Men panted after her all the time. And there were men here right at that very moment looking at her. Ethan’s cousin, Ivan, was one of them.
“So what’s the deal with you and Ivan?” I swung a look over to the bar where Ethan and Ivan were chatting over beers. Lots of beers. My husband might just be getting drunk at this wedding reception. We’d both been asked to be in this wedding, just as Neil and Elaina had been in ours. I guess he was letting off some steam, and he was entitled to that. During the actual ceremony he’d seemed a little tense to me. I wondered why. It was a happy time. His best friend had just married the girl he’d loved for years. Ethan’s behavior didn’t make sense, even for him.
“What do you mean?” Gaby’s eyes were now trained onto where Ethan and Ivan were ensconced. I didn’t miss how Ivan found her the instant she looked over to the bar, either. “We met at your wedding obviously as maid of honor, and best man. We—we have been forced into each other’s company.”
“Forced, huh? Ivan is so sweet...and hot. Why wouldn’t you want to be around him?” I smelled a rat with her lame explanation. And I was also fishing with my best friend. I hadn’t forgotten what Ethan had told me about the night at the Mallerton Gala when the alarm went off and everyone had to flee the building in a hurry. Ethan had seen them all mussed up like maybe they had been together. Ethan also seemed to know the type of woman his cousin would go for, and he’d told me more than once Gaby had all the right qualities.
“Well, I—I think he is—he’s very…um…Ivan is an interesting man.” She twisted her cocktail napkin into the shape of a toothpick. “He told me about all of the Mallertons at his estate in Ireland. He wants me to go back there and work on cataloging the entire collection.”
Ahhh, there it was. The nervous napkin destruction, the stammering, the blush in her cheeks, all suggesting Ethan’s prediction was dead-on target. “Back there?” I asked.
“Hmmm?” Her innocent look didn’t fool me.
“You said, ‘back there’ as if you’ve been to his Irish estate already.” I tilted my head at her. “Gaby, have you been to see Ivan’s paintings and not told your best friend about it?”
“Um…yeah, I was sent over there by Paul Langley to check out what was there.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t stay, though. The timing was—bad for me.” She took another sip of her drink and looked down, avoiding eye contact.
“Well maybe you will find a better time to go back then. I bet the paintings are magnificent if they’re anything like my Lady Percival.” I decided to let my probing go—for now. I could tell she was done with confession, and I didn’t want to hurt her by bringing up bad memories of things she didn’t need reminding.
“Yeah. I hope so.” She looked up and asked honestly, “How are you dealing with your political celebrity?”
Nice topic change, Gab. My turn to embrace avoidance now. “I try not to pay attention to it,” I lied. “We both had to put on a show, and we did. Now, I just want to move on and let my past stay there, you know?”
“I do know, my friend.” She squeezed my hand affectionately before heading off to find Benny, who was doing the wedding photographs.