I felt something underneath me! He grabbed hard between my legs. I yelled and managed to twist away, though he’d hurt me.
Then we were grabbing at each other, struggling like underwater wrestlers. Suddenly, he pulled me under with him. He was strong. His long arms were like powerful vises, and he held me tightly.
We went down, and I started to feel the coldest, most serious fear of my life. I didn’t want to drown. Shafer was winning. He always found a way.
Shafer stared into my eyes. His eyes were incredibly intense and manic and crazed. His mouth was closed, but it was twisted and evil-looking. He had me; he would win again.
I pushed forward as hard as I could. When I felt him straining against me, I reversed directions. I kicked out with my leg and caught Shafer under the jaw, maybe in the throat. I hit him with all of my strength, and he began to sink.
His long blond hair floated up around his face. His arms and legs went limp.
He began to sink, and I followed him. It was even darker under the surface. I grabbed one of his arms.
I barely caught him. His weight was pulling me with him, toward the bottom. I couldn’t let him go. I had to know the truth about Christine. I couldn’t go on with my life unless I knew.
I had no idea how deep the water was here. Shafer’s eyes had been wide open, and so had his mouth; his lungs must be filling with water by now.
I wondered if I’d broken his neck with my kick. Was he dead, or just unconscious? I took some satisfaction in the idea that I might’ve broken the Weasel’s neck.
Then it really didn’t matter. Nothing did. I had no more breath. My chest felt as if it would collapse. There was a fire spreading wildly inside me. Then a severe ringing started in both ears. I was dizzy and starting to lose consciousness.
I let Shafer go, let him sink to the bottom. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t think about him anymore. I had to get to the surface. I couldn’t hold my breath any longer.
I swam frantically up, pulled at the water, kicked with all my might. I didn’t think I could make it; it was too far to the surface.
I had no more breath.
Then I saw Sampson’s face looming above me. Close, very close. It gave me strength.
His head was framed against a few stars and the blue-black of the sky. “Sugar,” he called as I finally came up for air.
He held me up, let me get my breath, my precious breath. We both treaded water for a while. My mind was reeling.
I let my eyes explore the surface for some sign of Shafer. My vision was blurred, but I didn’t see him. I was certain he’d drowned.
Sampson and I slowly paddled back to shore.
I hadn’t gotten what I needed out there. I hadn’t been able to learn the truth from Shafer before he drowned.
Once or twice I glanced back to make sure that Shafer wasn’t following us, that he was gone. There was no sign of him. There was only the sound of our own tired strokes cutting into the tide.
Chapter 120
IT TOOK TWO MORE exhausting days and nights to finish with the local police investigation, but it was good to keep focused and busy. I no longer had any hope of finding Christine, or even discovering what had happened to her.
I knew it was remotely possible that Shafer hadn’t taken Christine, that it had been some other madman from my past, but I didn’t give that possibility more than a passing thought. I couldn’t go there. It was too crazy an idea, even for me.
I’d been unable to grieve from the start, but now the monstrous finality of Christine’s fate struck me with all of its brutal force. I felt as if my insides had been hollowed out. The constant, dull ache I had known for so long now became a sharp stab of pain that pierced my heart every waking moment. I couldn’t sleep, yet I felt as if I were never fully awake.
Sampson knew what was happening to me. There was nothing he could say, but he made comforting small talk, anyway.
Nana called me at the hotel, and I knew it was Sampson’s doing, though both of them denied it. Jannie and Damon got on the phone, and they were both sweet and kind and full of life and hopefulness. They even put Rosie the cat on for a friendly long-distance meow. They didn’t mention Christine, but I knew she
was always in their thoughts.
On our final night on the island, Sampson and I had dinner with Jones. We had become friendly with him, and he finally told me some facts he had previously withheld for Security reasons. He wanted me to have some closure; he felt I deserved that much.
Back in 1989, after joining MI6, Shafer had been recruited by James Whitehead. Whitehead in turn reported to Oliver Highsmith, as did George Bayer. Shafer performed at least four “sanctions” in Asia over the next three years. It was suspected, but never proved, that he, Whitehead, and Bayer had also murdered prostitutes in Manila and Bangkok. These murders were obviously the precursors to the Jane Does, and to the game itself. All in all, it had been one of the worst scandals in the history of the Security Service. And it had effectively been covered up. That was how Jones wanted to keep it, and I had no worthwhile objection. There were already more than enough unfortunate stories to keep people cynical about their governments.