“There’s no place I’d rather be, Butterfly. No one I’d rather be with.”
Claire grinned an
d said, “I love you, too.”
I told Claire to go ahead and eat, and I nibbled. When our plates had been cleared and the check had been paid, Claire and I headed back past the cigarette machine and the old wall phone to the ladies’ room.
I took the home pregnancy test into a stall. My hands shook and the instruction sheet rattled, but I performed the procedure and a moment later brought the little stick out to where Claire was waiting for me.
Claire said, “What are we hoping for? Positive or no?”
“Que será será,” I said.
The refrain to an old song my mom used to sing to me. I imagined that millions of moms sang it to their daughters who wanted to know their futures. It meant, “What will be will be.”
Claire and I waited thirty seconds, and together we stared at the stick.
“Look it. There’s only one bar,” Claire said, examining the tester. “That would be a no.”
I must’ve been holding my breath, because I exhaled deeply.
“You okay, Linds?”
I leaned against a sink and said, “I’m not ready to be pregnant right now, Claire. But something is wrong. I feel … fatigued. Depressed. Nauseated.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“The last few weeks.”
She placed her hand on my forehead.
“You don’t feel warm to me. When are you seeing your doctor?”
“It’s just exhaustion,” I said. “I’ve been working like a donkey.”
“Call your doctor, Lindsay. I mean it.”
“Okay.”
“And call in sick right now. I say so. I’m a doctor.”
I called the squad room and left messages for Conklin and Brady. Then I went home and got under the bedcovers at two in the afternoon. Joe, Julie, and Martha made a fuss over me while I reassured them and tried to empty my mind.
Tomorrow. I would call the doctor tomorrow.
And then I slept.
CHAPTER 69
TWO AND A half days had passed since Marc Christopher was shot and Judge Rathburn granted a continuance.
Ten minutes from now court was due to reconvene.
Yuki and her second chair, Arthur, sat together on a bench outside the courtroom, waiting for their star witness to arrive.
When Yuki spoke with Marc last night, he had said, “I’m good to go.” But his tone had been shaky, and she had been obligated to tell him that she couldn’t stall the proceedings any longer. If he didn’t show up, she’d have to run the video for the jury without him, which would dramatically diminish its impact.
Yuki said to Arthur, “I don’t like that he doesn’t answer his phone.”