“Heartbreaking. I mean, I think she could really die of this.”
“And those little boys.”
“Just old enough to understand. When the smaller one, Peter, said, ‘Please tell me why anyone would do this to Mommy and Daddy…’ ” Conklin sighed. “See? Isa and Ethan couldn’t have done it. I don’t see one killing the other. Not with kids like that.”
“I know.”
I told Conklin about my sister’s kids, Brigid and Meredith, who are about the same age as the Bailey boys. “I’m going to call my sister tonight. I just want to hear the little girls’ happy voices.”
“Good idea,” Conklin said.
“We were supposed to visit them. Me and Joe. He had to go on a business trip.”
“That’s too bad. But you can see Cat when he gets back.”
“That’s what he said.”
“You like kids, Lindsay,” Conklin said after a moment. “You should have some.”
I turned away, looked out the window as all those forbidden thoughts tumbled over one another, how close Rich and I had become, the taboo words and deeds, the smell of his hair, what it had felt like to kiss him, the part of me that regretted saying no because now I would never know how we would have fit together.
“Lindsay? You okay?”
I turned to him, said, “I’m just thinking,” and when I looked into his eyes, there was that hit, that arc of electricity going from me to him to me.
A phone rang in the distance.
On the third ring, I grabbed my cell off my belt, feeling mad, sad, and glad — in that order. It was Jacobi calling, but I wouldn’t have cared if it had been a wrong number.
I’d been saved by the bell.
Because in another moment, I might have suggested doing with Conklin what I was thinking — and all that would accomplish would be to make me feel worse.
Chapter 34
CLAIRE STOOD IN the center of the squad room again, but this time she looked weird, like she’d taken a punch.
“For those of you who haven’t heard my lecture, there are two types of cases — one type is circumstance-dependent and the other is autopsy-dependent.”
She was pacing now, talking as much to herself as she was to the ten of us, who were waiting to hear about the second tox run.
“That homeless guy, you know the one, Bagman Jesus. He had trauma all over him, six gunshot wounds to the head and neck, plus a postmortem beat- down. His body was found in a neighborhood frequented by drug dealers — but I don’t even need to know the circumstances.
“Six gunshot wounds. That’s a homicide.
“Now we’ve got two dead people found in their beds. Got a completely negative autopsy, completely negative environment…”
She stopped speaking. Swallowed.
“The tox run for the weird, the strange, and the bizarre,” I said, trying to give her a little push.
“Negative. Completely negative, so thanks, girlfriend, I almost forgot what I was saying. But now I remember: the Bailey case is circumstance-dependent.
“And a circumstance-dependent case means we need police work. You all know what I’m getting at. What were their finances like? Anyone having an affair here? Anyone leading a double life? You gotta help me out, give me a direction, because I’m twisting in the wind.”
So that was it. Claire was stumped. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen her stumped before. Ever.
“This is the press release I’ve got to give in the morning,” Claire said. She took a piece of paper out of the pocket of her scrubs and began to read from it.