“Get into the shelter,” Gozen told his troops.
45
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Today’s theme: Weirdness at the bottom of the world.
Our lives are pretty freaking weird already — what with the wings, the fleeing for our lives, etc. And yet we can still be amazed when things get even weirder. Cool.
Some stuff has kept life interesting for us lately: (1) Iggy can see, off and on. He needs to be practically snow-blinded for it to kick in, but he’s actually seen stuff. Made Max wish she’d brushed her hair sometime in the last month. (2) We’ve flown with snow petrels. They’re beautiful white birds, about pigeon size, that are all over the place here. They’re like flying pureness, to sound stupid and goofy. If Angel were an actual 100 percent bird, she’d be a snow petrel. The Gasman would be an emu. (3) There have been some penguin incidents, caused by uncautious belly-sliding down packed-snow slopes. Did you know that a penguin, if startled, might suddenly barf on you? We didn’t either. Did you know how revolting regurgitated, half-digested krill and squid is? I do now. (4) We performed a daring rescue at sea, made possible by Max and yours featherly. Unfortunately, the person we rescued turned out to be a mole who’s probably been spying on us for the past week. So now we’re most likely in mortal danger, as per usual.
Fortunately, the person we rescued didn’t make it. So I’m guessing her reports have slowed way down. In the meantime, whoever’s out there planning God knows what, we’re onto you. We see you coming. We’re not going to take it well.
I’ll go ahead and tell you: We’re in Antarctica. We’re here checking out the signs of global warming. Global warming may sound comfy — no more winter coats — but everything on earth right now kind of desperately relies on the climate staying as is. But if we give up our childish fears of catastrophic flooding, earthquakes, tsunamis, untold plant and animal extinctions, droughts, famines, and whatnot, we could just relax right now and let ’er rip!
However. For those of us who prefer the planet relatively undisastered, it seems clear that things have to change. I mean, we humans have to change our habits, our recklessness, our dependence on fossil fuels and beef.
Any questions?
Ali, Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein from Palm Beach write:
Wassup up with no beef? No hamburgers?
Well, Ali, Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein, Good thing you asked. For myself, I’m totally about the burgers. And steak. Shish kebabs. Stew. You name it, if it’s cow, it’s for me.
But this incredibly cool scientist I know, Dr. Brigid Dwyer, told me that livestock is causing more damage to the earth’s climate than cars. All the cars. For one thing, cattle “release” more methane and other greenhouse gases than even the Gasman, which is saying something. Plus, cattle eat about fourteen pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat. Which is energy efficiency in reverse. Not to mention the deforestation for their grazing land, the water they consume. It all adds up hugely. Makes ya think, huh?
— Fang
BitterGummy from Honshu writes:
Get off ur soapbox, man! When I want a lecture, I’ll go 2 school!
Sounds like you need it, BitterGummy. Try to stay awake this time.
— Fang
MinkyPuddin from Sydney wri
tes:
Fang I miss u guyz so much. U haven’t bin in the newz lately. I am all worried.
Your #1 fan.
No worries, MinkyPuddin. We’re fine. More fine than we’ve been in a long time, actually.
— Fang
Shy Babe from Seattle writes:
Dear Fang, I wrote u last month. Do u have a girlfriend?
I recommend you stick to your own species, Shy Babe. Thanks anyway.
— Fang