“We believe they can carry up to four-fifths of their own body weight for periods of up to an hour,” said Marian. “And one-half of their body weight almost indefinitely.”
Like our backpacks, for example.
“How much body fat do they have?” asked one of them. “Do they swim well?”
I decided to keep my mouth shut about Angel’s ability to breathe under water.
“We believe they have normal swimming abilities but with greatly increased endurance,” said Marian, cool as a polar bear’s nose. “Their body fat is extremely low. Max is five-eight but weighs barely a hundred pounds. Of that weight, extremely little is fat or bone. Mostly she’s made of muscle.”
She’s made of muscle. Like I was a kit that had been put together.
Okay, I get it. Shut up.
“But they can swim? They don’t sink?” asked one.
Marian shook her head. “Their bones are extremely light and porous, filled with tiny air pockets. In addition to their lungs, they have peripheral air sacs along ea
ch side. They don’t sink.”
“Okay, this is stupid,” I said in a bored tone. “There’s no point in discussing this—except that it shows how clearly you need to get a life—because there’s no way we’re going to be weapons for anyone.”
“That’s right,” said Nudge. “I’m not carrying bombs or assassinating anyone!”
That’s right. We have standards, missy!
“You’ll do what we tell you,” said Marian chillingly. “I’m sure we can find some way to motivate you.”
Instantly I thought that if they were hurting one of the others, I would do just about anything to stop it.
Again, information better kept to myself.
“I have to tell you, we don’t work cheap,” I told the Chinese scientists. “We’ll need serious bling, big-screen TVs, vacations in Hawaii, and the best cheeseburgers that money can buy. For starters.”
They nodded eagerly, thrilled at my giving in, which, frankly, was pathetic. I mean, don’t they have cynics in China? Clearly these guys were not the brightest crayons in the box.
103
“Okay, enough!” the Director snapped. Turning to the scientists, she said, “We can get you any other information you need. In the meantime, we’re going to work on a serious attitude adjustment.”
“Basically, I have two speeds,” I told them. “Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”
Ignoring me, Mom ushered the whitecoats out the door.
“That wasn’t clever,” she said, turning back to me. “Your survival depends on your extreme cooperation.”
“Dere iss no survival!” ter Borcht said angrily, standing up. “Dey are dead!”
She ignored him too.
“You were designed to be very smart, Max,” she told me. “We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.”
“And yet I still can’t program my TiVo,” I said.
I thought I heard Total stifle a snort, but I didn’t look down.
“It’s time to start using your smarts,” the Director went on tightly. “Dr. ter Borcht is not the only one who wants you dead. Working for the Chinese is your one opportunity to continue living.”
I stared at her in amazement. “How do you even live with yourself?” I said, genuinely dumbfounded. “You’re willing to sell children to a foreign government so they can use us as weapons, possibly against other Americans. I don’t get it. Were you hiding behind a door on morals and ethics day? Then you have the gall to call yourself my mother? You couldn’t mother someone if they shot five gallons of estrogen into your veins! What about their mothers?” I waved at the flock. “Please tell me their mothers aren’t half as lame as you!”