“So, who did sixteen-year-old Jason find?”
“The local vicar’s daughter. She used to drive by the school on the way to work.”
My jaw hung. “She seduced you?”
“God no, Gemma. I seduced her, kind of. Let’s say it was mutual. A stunner with legs up to her shoulders, and bearing in mind I was already close to six foot tall by then, I looked older than I was. I never was that lanky, skinny type and easily passed for an eighteen-year-old, dressed in my rugby kit, and she thought I was walking home from the local sports centre. In reality, I’d been to an after-school club. One day, it rained hard, and she pulled over and offered me a lift home.”
“A stranger?”
“Well, she’d seen me several times and, quote, I looked trustworthy.” Jason chuckled.
“Where did you go?”
“Nowhere. We stayed in the car.”
“In the car? You did it in a car?” Jason had always claimed he hated sex in a car, unless it was a big limo.
“Yep. Bloody uncomfortable, too.” He wagged a finger at me when I frowned—I loved having sex in a car. “It didn’t happen the first time she gave me a lift. She picked me up a few times, and we got chatting. I smelt of sweat, and it turned her on. She smelt of perfume, a good smell.”
“She just let you?”
“Yep. I suggested she pull over in a lane, in some woods. We kissed and….” Jason smiled. “She had fantastic tits. Happened really quickly. Fumbling, inelegant tumble. We moved to the back seat, and I fucked her there. She told me to come in my hankie, hardly romantic.”
“The vicar’s daughter. Wow. Did you regret it?”
“Nah. But I didn’t boast to anyone. It would have meant getting myself expelled and getting her in big trouble. The next time she saw me was at the church for a service. We’d trooped down there from school, and she sat in the congregation, under the scrutiny of her preaching father. She spotted me in my uniform, went bright red, and scuttled away at the end of the service.”
Served her right. So much for morale fortitude. “So you abstained for a while?”
Jason put his glass down and snorted. “No. I was more selective. I had a secret relationship with the next-door neighbour’s daughter, Sally. Roughly my age. I snuck into her house on the pretext of doing homework with her twin brother. He obliged us and helped with the cover-up.”
“My God. John would never have done that for me! You lucky boy. I thought I was the clandestine one. You were, too.”
“It wasn’t that frequent. The family moved, and she disappeared out of my life. The thing, which will amaze you, I let her take the lead. She had more experience than me. So I let her teach me.”
I leaned against his leg. “Why haven’t you told me before? There is nothing profound about your sexual awakening, not much different from my own, in fact.”
“My parents have no idea. They think university brought out my desire for kink. Rather, it was the girl next door. She asked me to tie her to the bed. Of course, now I wouldn’t accept topping from the bottom, but since I was a novice in kink, I loved it. I kept it a secret because we were still at school, and because of what we got up to. Nothing to do with dominance or submission. I had no knowledge of those concepts, at least not in the bedroom. Those discoveries came from my liaisons at university. So, I told nobody. I suppose the secrecy became part of me. What I sought in relationships was privacy and the room to explore my natural traits.”
“Secrecy even from your wife,” I sulked.
He smiled at me, running a finger down my cheek as I pouted. “I never omitted it intentionally. You never asked before now, and I don’t talk about my past. You know I don’t live in the past.”
“I do. I have it with me all the time. Not just the bad parts, good, too. I dwell in my past.”
“And some people focus on the here and now, or the future. Me, for example. Neither of us have a right or wrong way of seeing things. They complement each other quite well. You have reminded me single-sex education is not a paradigm of sexual purity, and I have told you Joshua needs to be on a waiting list now.”
I laughed because it was true. Left to me, it would have been a mad scramble to find Joshua a suitable school because I would have procrastinated about the choices.
Perhaps I should have been more resentful at my ignorance over his past. Listening to him open up about his first sexual act, I acknowledged his reserve wasn’t calculated nor due to shame, which caused many to hide their loss of virginity, me included. Jason, when in the right mood, could be very forthcoming.
What he’d revealed made sense. He’d always acquired his knowledge of sex from personal practice, and, after each liaison, he’d moved on to apply his findings to the next relationship, leaving behind the unwanted emotional baggage of a failed partnership. His schooling and learning style were poles apart from mine. Nevertheless, they had certainly shaped him and made him the man he was to me.
I offered to top up his wine glass, but he declined with a shake of his head. He leaned forward and ran his fingers through my hair. The length now reached between my shoulder blades, but he hadn’t asked me to cut it, and I hadn’t enquired whether he wanted me to have it shorter. A knot trapped his combing fingers.
“Ow!” I said, tilting away.
He snapped his fingers, and I jumped. “Go get the hairbrush. The wooden one.”