Sir's Redemption (Doms of Decadence 8)

“We’ve got vastly different ideas of fine, sweetheart.”

She loved when he called her sweetheart. But it was so inappropriate. She’d already made up her mind to quit her job, it didn’t feel right to work for him any longer, not after this. Which kind of sucked because this job had been perfect. She’d just have to find something else once she was feeling better.

Frist, though, she had to convince James she was well enough to leave. The man was amazingly stubborn. “I need to go home, James.”

“Why?”

Why? Good question. Maybe she should claim she had a cat who needed feeding. But then he’d probably send poor Roger over to feed the imaginary thing. She’d never met Roger, but he’d been sent on a number of errands to get everything from a thermometer to aspirin and chicken soup to electrolyte drinks. She was starting to wonder if James did anything for himself. She guessed when you were as rich as he was you didn’t have to do mundane things like go to the grocery store or pharmacy.

No, best not to make up some imaginary excuse. James seemed rather adept at reading her lies. And, mistakes with Sloan aside, she tried not to lie as a rule.

“I just think it’s time to go home,” she told him. “I appreciate everything, but I’m not your responsibility.”

“You could be.”

Um . . . what? “What do you mean?”

He reached for the tray and pulled it off her lap. She fought the ridiculous urge to grab it and hold onto it like a shield. Like the tray was going to save her from whatever he had to say.

So, she didn’t say a word as he placed the tray on the floor then moved to sit next to her on the bed. She swallowed nervously, her mouth dry. He placed his hand on her thigh. “I didn’t intend to say anything yet. Not when you’re still recovering from being so ill.”

“It was just a virus, James.” His concern had been touching, if a little more intense than she would have expected. But then he’d admitted he’d never taken care of someone before. She wondered at that. Surely, he’d had long-term relationships before. He was forty-two. Hadn’t any of his old girlfriends gotten sick? What had he done then? Hired someone to care for them?

He rubbed his thumb over her thigh, and she tried not to react, to not show how much it affected her. What would it be like if he touched her skin? She needed to stop this. Even if things were over with Sloan, she still felt like she was betraying him by feeling something for James. Eventually, she’d have to speak to Sloan if she wanted to move on.

God, how am I going to move on without Sloan? These past few weeks without him had been torture . . . knowing she’d never touch him again, never hear him laugh, never have him hold her tightly. She drew a deep breath, trying to keep her composure, outwardly at least.

On the inside, she was sobbing.

James was frowning. “You had a high temperature. I still think you should have seen the doctor.”

“There’s nothing the doctor could have done that you didn’t. Really. But I need to go home.”

“What if I wanted this to be your home?”

All right. Now things were just getting weird. Well, weirder.

James huffed out a laugh. “You’re looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.”

“Haven’t you?”

He studied her. “No. Actually, I’m thinking very clearly. Kinley, I know you don’t know me well—”

“Exactly, we don’t know each other well—”

“Please don’t interrupt me until I’ve finished.” His voice was gentle enough, but there was a core of steel in it that had her quieting immediately. Not for the first time, she wondered if James was a Dominant. He certainly had the power voice down pat.

“I was going to say that even though you haven’t known me long, I think we’ve made a connection that I’ve failed to make with women I’ve known for months. I’ve never once felt the urge to take care of someone else the way I’ve looked after you this weekend. Part of that is due to trying to learn from past mistakes, but most of it is you. Since the first night I met you, I’ve struggled not to think about you. Spending time with you quickly became the highlight of my day and when you weren’t here . . . well, I moped. I made you clean my office for the excuse of seeing you. I searched you out the other night not because I was mad my office hadn’t been cleaned but because I was mad you weren’t there. That I didn’t get to see you, talk to you, or argue with you. In short, Kinley, I care about you. I think you’re special. I think we could be good together. That you could be good for me. I’m not going to lie and say I’m a good man, I’m not. I have issues. I’ve got baggage. I like control. It keeps me centered and focused. But I’m trying not to be the selfish man I once was. To learn to put others first. I haven’t always done that. If I see something I want, I usually take it. Normally, no one tells me no.” Yeah, she figured there were very few people who said no to him.

“I want you, Kinley. In my bed, yes. But also in my life. I didn’t expect to ever want another woman full-time. But then I never expected to meet you.”

They were pretty words. Flattering, and, oh, so tempting. But she couldn’t do it. But how to tell him without hurting him? And the fact she hated the thought of hurting him told her how much she cared about him too. But she just couldn’t. “I feel something for you too.” He tightened his hand on her thigh.

“But I can’t do it. I’m sorry. My life is a mess. I can’t get involved with you, James. I just can’t.” The last word was more of a sob, and she immediately found herself pressed against his warm chest, his scent teasing her, his arms strong and firm around her.

“You loved that bastard, didn’t you?” His voice was hard to read, but when she tried to pull back to look at his face, he held her tighter.

“Yes.” No matter what he’d done, she’d loved Sloan, still did, and she wasn’t ready for someone else. Not now. Not for a long time. Because you didn’t get over someone like Sloan quickly.