“Curt, please,” she begged.
“Lie still,” he ordered as she started writhing, trying to create some sort of pressure against that digit. “I can see that training you is going to be a test of my patience.”
“You don’t have any patience.”
“Actually, I have plenty of patience. It just seems to dissipate around you.”
“Guess I’m just special, huh?”
“Yes. You are.”
Those words sent an ache through her that had nothing to do with him pressing a single finger deep inside her wet passage.
“What is it we’re doing here, Curt?”
“Well, I thought I was about to give you a mind-blowing orgasm, but if you think it’s something else, please tell me.”
“I don’t mean that. Ohhh,” she moaned as he pushed a second finger inside her and started pumping them in and out. He paused and flicked her clit with his thumb. Her hips rose, almost of their own volition.
“Keep still, Jenna.”
“I’m trying.”
He sighed. “You are sadly lacking in discipline.”
She stared up at him, confused. “I don’t understand any of this, Curt. You rejected me a few months ago, remember?”
“Of course I do. And I’ve regretted it ever since.”
He had? Then why had he waited so long to come for her? Why wait until now?
“I told myself that keeping away from you was the right thing to do. That you deserved better. I still think that.”
“That’s a crock. It’s just an excuse to make you feel better.”
His eyes flared open.
“If you’d wanted a relationship with me you wouldn’t have waited this long just because you thought I deserved better. Better than what? A man who puts me first? My protection? My needs? My wants? A man who’s loyal and strong and kind. A man who’d always be there for me, no matter what shit goes down. Is that the sort of man I don’t deserve?”
“You’re putting me up on a pedestal I don’t deserve. I’m not a good man.”
“I remember your spiel from last time, Curt. Are you telling me you’d betray me? That you’d put me at risk? That you’d abandon me when things got rough?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then what? Because if this is just sex then you don’t have to come up with some excuse about how I deserve better, just tell me now. I’m not the person I was a year ago, hell, a few months ago. I’m harder. I can take care of myself now. I no longer look at the world through rose-colored glasses. I’m not that stupid kid who thought she could actually make a difference. If you’re foolish and naïve and think everyone is good deep down, then you get chewed up and spit out. I don’t need you to protect me from the world. Not anymore.”
“That’s not you.”
“It is now.”
He shook his head. “You might think it is, but I’ve seen how you are. I’m sorry I hurt you, Jenna. I was wrong. I was blind, and stupid. I thought I could forget about you, let you move on with your life and find a nice man to settle down with, have kids, and live a normal life.”
“A normal life? What’s that?”
“You know what I mean. I have needs I thought would scare you.”
“So, once you found out I was a member of Saxon’s club that changed things for you? I suddenly became someone you could see yourself being with?”