“Hey, Julian. Hey, it’s me. It’s Cole. It’s all right, you’re safe. You’re safe.”
The words slowly penetrated his haze of fear, and he blinked as Cole’s face filled his vision.
“What are you doing here?” he snarled at the other man, letting anger overtake his fear. Fuck. Shit. What the hell? Of course, it wasn’t Vincento. The other man had no idea where they were, and he wasn’t going to just turn up at Joel’s place and make a comment about the weather.
Get yourself together, man.
He had to do a better job than he was at acting like he was getting better.
“I just had dinner with Joel, Aspen, and the boys. I thought I’d walk out here and take in the view.”
It could be plausible, but he doubted it. Cole just wasn’t a guy who stopped to smell the roses. It wasn’t in his makeup.
“You’ve seen it, you can go.” He knew he was acting like a toddler who wasn’t getting his way, but he couldn’t help it.
Cole’s attention dropped to Keira, who was still swimming.
“Don’t look at her. You have no right to look at her.”
Cole’s gaze returned to him. And instead of anger or frustration, which he might have expected, he just saw understanding.
“I know I don’t, Julian. I don’t really have the right to ask anything from the two of you. I’m going to, though.”
“Why? Why are you here, now?”
Why couldn’t he have just left them alone? Why couldn’t he have come after them earlier? Found them before Vincento got his hands on them.
He took in a calming breath.
“I’ve made so many mistakes, Julian. I have so many regrets. I don’t want to add to them.”
“So, as usual, this is all about you. About what you want.”
“No.” Cole shook his head. “I won’t deny there’s a bit of selfishness in my being here. I wanted to make things right with my brother. And now that I’ve met his family, I want to be a part of their lives.”
And he had every right to be. He was blood. Keira and Julian weren’t. Fuck, maybe he needed to find them somewhere to live sooner than he’d thought.
“But I also need to make things right with the two of you.”
“Never gonna happen,” Julian snapped. Did he think words would make up for what happened to them?
It wasn’t Cole’s fault.
Yeah. Except part of him couldn’t help but feel it was. Part of him needed someone else to blame. Because otherwise the only other target was himself. And the guilt was eating him from the inside out.
Wasn’t really fair to Cole. Since the person who was to blame wasn’t there. Would never, pray to God, be within a thousand miles of him or Keira again. But he wasn’t there, and Cole was. And, for so long, he’d been angry at Cole. But, more than that, he’d been hurt by Cole.
Vincento had hurt him. Broken him. Torn him down. But he still hadn’t hurt him the way Cole had.
Is it Cole’s fault you fell hard and fast? That he was the first person you ever submitted to?
No.
If it had been just him who he’d hurt, he might feel differently. He might forgive more easily. But there was always going to be one thing that would be a struggle to forgive Cole for. And that was breaking Keira’s heart.
Hurt him. Break him. Hate him. But nobody harmed his wife. Never again.
“Bad choice of words,” Cole muttered. “I seem to be doing that a lot.”