Because she knew if they did, they’d look at her differently. And she wanted a fresh start. She wanted to just be Flick. To have none of this other shit following her around. She moved carefully down the hallway, making sure she didn’t look towards his study. Or towards the dreaded living room she only stepped foot in when he made her. She thought she’d made it safe and clear. She’d just reached the stairs when she heard his voice boom out.
“Felicity! Get your ass in here!”
She sighed. Dropped her head and closed her eyes. She tried to go to a happy place. Unfortunately, thirty minutes ago her happy place had been torn away from her. Dreams of West and her, their ridiculous white wedding, and their happy-ever-after was what had been keeping her going. And now she didn’t have that. Time to find another happy place, because it was the only way to deal with him.
“Don’t make me come get you, Felicity!”
She shuddered. No, that would make things so much worse. Like she hadn’t learned that the hard way. And while she might live in her head where there were castles and white knights and moats with draw bridges, in reality her life was filled with darkness and fear. Slowly, she turned and made her way down to the study. The door was slightly ajar. She pushed at it, and moved inside, but only a foot or two. She didn’t want to get too close. She’d learned that the hard way too.
He’d left her alone while her cast was on. She was a fool to think that he’d continue to do so. She had to hold back a wince as she saw he was already on the hard stuff. There’d been a time when he wouldn’t start drinking bourbon until well after ten. He always started off with beer. Beer and an upper body workout. She knew it sounded ridiculous. He stayed up late, slept in, worked out, and drank. But now, instead of waiting until ten or later to hit the bourbon, he was starting earlier. She looked over at the clock on the wall, wasn’t even nine. That didn’t bode well for her.
“Where have you been?” he snapped.
“Just for a ride,” she told him.
“Do not lie to me, Felicity,” he said in a low voice.
Warning. Warning. Her heart raced, her mouth went dry. Why did she always think she could lie to him? It never worked out well for her.
Why hadn’t she waited until he’d passed out and snuck inside then?
Idiot, Flick. Idiot.
“More like you were at those neighbors’, making a nuisance of yourself. That what you been doing?
“I haven’t been making a nuisance of myself. They like me.”
Even she could hear the sad, lost note in her voice. They liked her. At least she thought they did. Now she didn’t know. Because Flick knew she wasn’t a very good judge of other people. People she thought were friends often turned out to be the enemy.
Even family could be the enemy. She stared at the man sitting in a wheelchair across from her, bitterness etched into the lines of his face. A face that had once been handsome, that used to smile, that used to look down at her gently before he’d kiss her forehead, tell her he loved her and tuck her into bed. A man who’d once protected her. A man who’d turned into something cold and dark. Someone she no longer recognized but she knew to be scared of.
“You been throwing yourself at them? At one of those boys? Or more than one? That what you’re doing, Felicity? Trying to get us kicked out of another town?”
“I didn’t get us kicked out of Ashville, and you know it.” She made the effort to try to temper her voice, not to show how upset she was. How bitter. But she guessed she must’ve failed as his eyes narrowed, and he glared at her.
“Wasn’t me that threw myself at Brian, Felicity. Fucking delusional as usual. Thinking he would want you.”
If she wasn’t raw from the run-in with West, those words may not have hurt as much. She’d have built a wall to keep him out. But they hit hard and deep. She’d been an idiot thinking Brian would want her. Thinking he’d want her enough to help her. But like everyone else in her life when they came up against her brother, he’d caved.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else,” she told him. Something moved his eyes. Something that wasn’t nasty. But it wasn’t right either. Nothing about him was right.
“Somebody done something to you?”
That was rich. Coming from him. What hadn’t he done to her? Well, she guessed there were some things. She swallowed the rising bile at the thought.
“No. Nobody’s done anything to me. Just a weird town. The men think they get to boss everybody around. Think they know what’s best for the little woman.”
He barked out a laugh that wasn’t filled with humor. “Thought you’d like that, Flick. Thought you dreamed of a family with a man who was all protective over the little woman.”
She tensed. He hadn’t just guessed that. She knew it. She knew he’d read that in her diary. She glared at him. He smiled back. He got a kick out of this. Out of hurting her. And she knew she shouldn’t give that to him. When she’d finally figured out he got off on hurting her, she’d started building a wall. But, tonight, she was too weak from the fight with West. And that kiss. Holy shit. She knew he’d just been making a point, but she’d never felt anything like that before.
He waited for her to say something. To accuse him of invading her privacy. He was begging for a fight, an excuse to take his anger and hatred out on her, but she’d learned. Oh, God, had she learned. She wasn’t going to give that to him.
“I’m tired. I’m going to bed, Spencer.” She turned around.
“No, you’re not,” he ordered.
She stilled, but didn’t turn back around. Stupid.