Duncan sighed. “Why are you so angry at me, Laken? I know I made mistakes years ago. I was too caught up in my career to give you the attention you deserved. Don’t you think I deeply regret that? But I wasn’t the only one who made mistakes. You never even gave me a proper explanation for why you broke things off. I think you owe me that much, don’t you?”
“I told you why. Things weren’t working out.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Do we have to rehash this over and over? You’re like a bad batch of chili; you just keep repeating yourself. We’re over, Duncan, we have been for years, and it’s time you moved on with your life. I have.”
Pain tore through her, but she forced herself to keep calm. She couldn’t handle Duncan right now. He had always been a force to reckon with and if he set his sights on something then he would let nothing get in his way. It was that determination and drive that had made him a hugely successful linebacker.
She couldn’t afford to have him focus all his attention on her. Because she had secrets that she was determined no one would ever uncover.
“You never could lie very well,” he told her. “I’m not sure what is going on with you, but I do know that I missed you. A lot.” He took hold of her hand. “I want us to try again. Go out on a date with me, Laken.”
This was the third time he’d asked her on a date. Each time was harder than the last to say no.
She pulled her hand free, clenching her teeth against the initial surge of pleasure. A “yes” hovered on her lips. God, how easy it would be to fall back into Duncan’s arms. But she couldn’t get involved with him. Duncan would never let her secrets lie.
“I’m not doing this again. I’m not going to be your doormat.”
His eyes grew cold. “You were never my doormat and you know it. What we did was always consensual and you loved being my submissive. You can spit and snarl at me all you like, but I am not giving up on you. Not this time. I learn from my mistakes, Laken. I would cherish you.”
“Would you give up BDSM for me?” Christ, how had that slipped out? She wasn’t even sure that was what she wanted. The thought of playing with Duncan again filled her with fear and longing. It was a sickening mix that made her head ache and her whole body throb.
He gazed at her thoughtfully. “Now why would you want me to do that? You loved being my submissive. Does this have something to do with why you broke things off? Did something happen to make you afraid of submitting to me, Laken?”
Christ, this is what she got for letting down her guard. She couldn’t let Duncan close and keep her secrets.
Saving Savannah
Haven, Texas, Book Three
September fourth.
Four weeks.
Savannah stared numbly at the date on the calendar. The protective shell she’d wrapped around herself was a blessing. It kept her from feeling too much. From feeling much of anything.
It had kept her from experiencing too much pain as she’d recovered from the cuts and bruises he’d inflicted on her.
It kept her from falling apart from the horror of the memories that threatened to drown her. It kept her sane.
Well, sort of. It was a weird kind of sanity. She lived in an almost dreamlike state. As though she were separated from her body. Like she was on really good drugs. The kind she’d been on for those first few days in the hospital when she’d woken up bandaged and broken.
Broken? Like she was fixed now? The wounds were healed. There were still some small scars, but the doctor told her they’d probably fade with time. Yep, time would take care of her outer wounds. But the scars on the inside . . . well, they’d stay there. Buried deep where no one would find them.
It was better this way. If she hid buried everything then eventually life would go back to normal. Right?
“Savannah!”
She let out a cry as the loud voice boomed through the house. She shook for a moment, her heart racing so hard she felt ill. Legs weak, she leaned against the kitchen island behind her.
Calm. Calm. Find that place where you’re not afraid.
“Savannah? Oh, there you are.” The relief on Logan’s face was clear. “Didn’t you hear me calling for you?”
They’d probably heard him calling in the next state; Logan wasn’t exactly subtle.
“Are you okay? Are you all right?” He shifted from foot to foot, looking a little uncomfortable. Poor Logan, he was a man of action, not words.
Logan just continued to stare at her. She opened her mouth to say something . . . anything . . . and the words dried up in her throat.
He sighed. “Savannah . . .” He paused, seeming to rethink what he was about to say. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”