Savannah sighed. “Yeah, Logan was not pleased.”
Laken felt a stab of jealousy. These girls had men who adored them. Sure, they could be possessive and over-protective. They knew how to love and how to take care of their own.
“It’s not only how Duncan watches you,” Lila told her, pouring out more margaritas. “You light up around him. I worry about you, Laken. You seem to be holding a part of yourself back. When you’re with Duncan, I see the real Laken shining through. So, are you sleeping with him yet?”
God, when had Lila gotten so blunt?
“Lila,” Savannah scolded. At least someone had some manners.
“What?” Lila said. “I didn’t ask if he was good, did I? He is though, right?”
“The best,” Laken sighed before slamming her hand over her mouth. She should have stopped after one margarita. “At least he was three years ago. I haven’t slept with him since.”
Lila and Savannah’s jaws dropped.
“You’re not sleeping with him now?” Lila asked.
Laken shook her head. “He…I…we got together years ago when I was in New York and he was with the Giants. Then we broke it off. Now I’m finding it hard to–to let him close.”
A weight started lifting from her shoulders as she spoke. Trace was right—talking things out did help.
“Because he hurt you?” Savannah asked.
“Yes… no. See, we both made mistakes back then. I wasn’t really expecting to get involved with him again. So I asked him to take things slow.”
“Only now that’s not what you want,” Savi said with sympathy. “And you don’t know how to ask for more.”
She nodded.
Lila frowned. “That doesn’t sound like the Laken I know. The Laken I know would go after what she wants, despite how much it scared her.”
Damn, she was right.
“What’s going on?” Lila asked. “Is this because of what Ricky did?”
“Partly,” Laken said truthfully. “He cheated on me, but more than that, he cost me a job I loved. Or thought I loved. I’m starting to realize now that he did me a favor. I missed Haven. I missed my family, my friends.”
“If you want something from Duncan,” Lila told her, “then you need to talk to him. Ask him for what you need.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
She was scared to try, and yet…she didn’t think she’d ever be happy unless she took back control from her fears. Maybe there was a way of doing that without Duncan, though. Maybe there was a way of testing her fears without having to bare her soul to Duncan.
She glanced down at her clasped hands. “Have you ever been to Saxon’s?”
Lila frowned. “It’s members only; they won’t let anyone else in unless someone sponsors them.”
“You want to go to a BDSM club?” Savannah asked.
“Yes,” she said with more conviction than she felt. Truthfully, she was terrified. But she was tired of letting her fears win. Besides, she didn’t intend to play with anyone. Just watch.
“I have a membership.”
Lila’s jaw dropped, then she scooted forward. “Really? You can get into Saxon’s?”
“You have a membership?” Savi asked. “How did you afford it?” Her fair skin flooded with color as she realized what she had said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
Laken waved her hand in the air. “Don’t worry, we all know I’m broke. Saxon gave me a membership.” Both women sucked in their breath, but she waved them away. “It’s okay. We have an understanding.” At least she thought they did. “The thing is…” she paused. Could she really tell them? She glanced over and saw nothing but concern on their faces. Yes, this was what she missed: friendship. “I want to go in, but I’m scared.”