o better, I promise. I can do better. Just give me another chance.”
Christ. Goddamn, fuck him.
Ink drew her up into his lap, not even thinking that she might not want his touch. But instead of rejecting him, she curled herself around him, her arms so tight around his neck it was as though she couldn’t bear to let him go.
He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her. “It’s all right, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
She might have all these barriers that she threw up to protect herself but he wasn’t letting that deter him. He’d dig his way under them, blast through them, smash’em all down to find her at the center.
“When I was growing up, my mama, she always used to tell me, ‘if I wanted you to have an opinion, Elizabeth, I’d give it to you.’ I was never supposed to say what I thought. Only what she wanted me to say. And my husband, he never wanted to hear what I had to say. He only wanted blind obedience. I just…please…I’ll try not to do that…”
Shit. Maybe he’d already blasted through some of those walls.
“Easy, baby. Easy. It’s all right. You’re safe, brown eyes. I’m here. You’re safe.”
Christ, with how hard she was shaking, he was starting to worry about her.
“I’m sorry I gave you such a fright. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You will,” she said with certainty. “Everyone does. I’ll let you down. It’s inevitable. I know it’s going to happen. And then you’ll hurt me too. Why am I letting you close? Why am I doing that to myself? I need to go…” She froze. Something occurred to her. She rubbed her hand over her face. “It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it.”
“Betsy? What’s not worth it?” Being with him wasn’t worth it? Wasn’t worth what? Opening up? “It’s not worth being with me?”
She blinked at him. “But it is, isn’t it? You’re amazing and gorgeous and strong.” She groaned and took a deep breath. “I feel so messed up.”
“You’re not messed up, Betsy.”
She let out a humorless laugh. “I’m the most screwed up person you’ve ever met.”
“I get this is fucking hard. Submitting to someone, it isn’t always easy. And yeah, it can mess you up. Bring things from your past forward when you thought you’d dealt with them. But it can also be cathartic. Letting go of old shit. Of course, it can all just be about the spankings and orgasms. That’s fun too.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.
“I wouldn’t know. Haven’t gotten any orgasms.”
“Why, Miss Betsy, is that a note of disgruntlement in your voice? Do you need to get off?” He decided it was time to lighten the mood.
“I…I…” She licked her lips, glancing up at him.
“Are you wet for me?”
He chuckled as she went bright red.
“I damn well love that you can blush, brown eyes. Tell me, do you lie in bed at night and think of me fucking you?”
Her breath quickened. “Do you?”
“Uh-uh. I asked you a question. That isn’t the way things work. You just earned a spanking.”
“What? There was no warning.”
“There have been plenty of warnings about not answering questions when I ask them. You’re very good at deflection, brown eyes. But it’s not working here.”
“Well, fudge.”
Fudge, indeed. Christ, she was fucking cute.
Far too good for him. But he didn’t want to think about that right now.
“I’ll give you my number before we leave tonight. You’re going to go out immediately in the morning and get a new phone because I do not like the idea of you walking around without one. Then as soon as you get a phone, you text me. Understand? If I don’t get a text before midday then I’ll be taking off my belt next time I see you.”