When he finally allowed her to draw back, her cheeks were flushed, her lips slightly swollen.
“What was that for? Not that I didn’t like it. Hell, you can kiss me anytime you like, but it’s not usual for you to…” Shit. He was rambling. He took a deep breath then reached for his glass of water.
“I…I…just wanted to know,” she muttered weirdly.
“Know what?”
“What it would be like to do that. You’re a good man, Ink. I think you might be the best man I’ve ever met.”
“Because I offered to drive you home?” What kind of assholes had she known in her life?
Plenty, he was guessing, if any of them had put that sadness in her eyes. Had made her shy away from others' touch.
He hated that. That she’d been hurt in the past.
“Brown eyes, any decent man would offer to see you home safe.”
“But there aren’t a lot of decent men out there, are there?” she mused. “At least not from what I’ve seen.”
“I’d trust any of my friends with your safety. They’re decent men. They give their word, they mean it.”
“Your friends in your biker gang.”
“We’re a motorcycle club. The Iron Shadows.”
“Interesting name. How did you become a part of them?”
He shrugged. “After I was discharged from the Special Forces, I was kind of lost. I was useless to them.”
“Useless?”
Christ. He had opened this can of worms. Was he really going to talk to her about it? “I was stationed in Afghanistan. We…there was a village. The enemy had gone through it.” He swallowed at the memories. She reached over and took his hand in hers. Her hand was as cool as ever, but it was what he needed right then. To bring him back to the here and now.
“What we didn’t know was that there were insurgents waiting for us. They’d staged it. Took out half of my team. I had this bad feeling before we went in. But I was young and nobody thought my instinct meant anything at all. Between what I’d seen of the bodies of the villagers and losing our team members, I must have gone on a rampage. Don’t remember much. Lost it apparently. Got myself an honorable discharge. Apparently, I was lucky to get that. Yeah, lucky to come home with PTSD and a head filled with nightmares.”
“Oh, Ink.” She laid her face against his shoulder.
“Shit. That took a dark turn, didn’t it?” He tried to lighten his voice.
“You don’t always have to make things right for me, you know.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to try to make things better. I know you do that. My fault. Because of the way I am. I know I don’t always react well to things. Touch. Loud noises. Lara getting punished.” She grinned at him. “But I can handle the dark stuff. Trust me, I’ve lived through enough dark to be able to find my way through it.”
“What other dark stuff have you lived through, brown eyes?”
Shit.
What to tell him?
Well, obviously she couldn’t tell him about Rex or Forrest. Not here. She didn’t think there were ears on them in the booth, but she couldn’t risk it.
“When I was four, my daddy told me he was going to the store to buy me a dolly. It was this doll I’d wanted for so long. I was quite obnoxious about how much I wanted her. She had this beautiful red-blonde hair and the prettiest dress with lace around the bottom of it.
“I was so happy. I waited for hours for him to return. Mama finally had to force me into bed. If I think about it now, I can remember the pinched look on her face, the smell of Scotch on her breath. Mama didn’t drink Scotch. It was unbecoming of a lady to get sloshed, so the most she ever had was a civilized glass of wine with dinner.”
She took a deep breath, let it out slowly.