His eyes gre
w dark. “I’m not Greg. I’m not going to get sick of you just because you call me out on my bullshit.”
Her eyes widened. “You knew you were being unreasonable?”
He blew out a breath. “Newsflash, little rebel. I’m not perfect either.”
“I know that,” she muttered then covered her face with her hands as he chuckled. “Sorry, can’t believe I just blurted that out.”
“I like when you blurt things out, gives me an insight into what’s going on in here.” He tapped her head. “Need it so I’m not blundering around in the dark.”
She’d always thought of herself as an open person, but then hadn’t she always had secrets? About her homelife? About her real feelings and desires? Things she’d shut away for other people.
“I was being an asshole,” he told her honestly. “And you had every right to call me out for it. I don’t want you to be scared to argue with me, Sunny. If I’m being a dick, you can’t let me bulldoze over you.”
“So. . .why?”
He blew out a breath. “Why don’t I want you to go out?”
“Yeah.”
“Couple of reasons.” He took hold of her hand and led her over to the recliner. He sat and pulled her onto his lap.
She loved being held like this. She felt so safe. He rubbed his hand up and down her back. “I’m feeling very protective of you today. More so than I usually do.”
“Because of yesterday?”
“Yeah. You scared the shit out of me, Sunny. Then, with that nightmare this morning. . .” He let out a deep breath. “Knowing I wasn’t there to help you. . .it fucking grates at me. I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. You’re fucking part of me. Get me?”
She nodded. She understood what he was saying because she felt the same. A knot of tension unraveled in her stomach that she hadn’t even realized was there.
“I’m angry about yesterday, worried about you. Being around you helps me regain equilibrium. The more control I have the better. When you’re in Little mode, I don’t know how to explain it exactly. . .but when I’m looking after you, it relaxes me.”
She’d never heard him talk like this. He was always just Duke. Indestructible, almost. Stoic. Calm. Smart. Nothing seemed to faze him.
But right at this moment, he seemed almost vulnerable.
He needs me.
She’d known it on some level. But this might be the first time she really got that he might just need her as much as she needed him.
“So what you’re really saying is that spanking me is relaxing?” she teased.
“Yep,” he replied with a wink.
“That doesn’t bode well for my ability to sit down in the future,” she muttered, shifting around on her still tender bottom. But something had shifted inside her. “I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.”
He tilted her chin up and kissed her lightly. “I know you will be. But you need a life beyond me. I guess.”
She rolled her eyes then bit at her lip. “This is all very different for me too. I’ve never been in a relationship like this. But I’ve also never had a friend. I want to go out with her, Duke.”
“And that’s exactly what you’ll do. Like I said, I was being a selfish ass. But. . .” he trailed off.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?”
Duke wasn’t a jerk like Greg. Oh, he could be abrupt and grumpy and she was certain he could be selfish too. But this had been unusual for him. Even taking yesterday into account.
“Yeah. There is.” He ran his hand up and down her hand lightly. “What I’m about to tell you only a few people know. Me, Reyes, Spike, Ink, Razor, and Jason. Basically, the inner circle at Iron Shadows. Those guys I trust with my life and more importantly, I’d trust them with yours.”