He ignores the slight and goes on to say, “While I am always attuned to him, and my influence is strong, it is only to the degree that Dace is willing to allow it, or acknowledge it. I am the nagging tug he feels in his gut. I am the gentle push toward a particular choice. I’m the intuition he doesn’t always choose to act on. I’m there to guide and influence only. It is not my place to interfere with his choices. There is such a thing as free will, and I have to say that Dace Whitefeather has never failed to exercise his.”
I weigh his words in my head, but remain unconvinced.
“Think of life as a classroom. You humans arrive here in order to learn and grow. And most of that learning and growing comes from the mistakes that you make. It’s just the nature of things. Humans would never learn anything if their guides were always interfering, or trying to protect them.”
“But you did interfere! You just said that you saved me to save Dace. I was already dead, I took my last breath, when you gave me the kiss of life!”
Axel’s lips flatten. His face grows conflicted.
And in that moment, I know that I’m right. His expression providing all the proof that I need, to know that his feelings for me go far deeper than he’s willing to admit. Far deeper than they rightfully should.
He pauses a long, thoughtful moment, before he turns to me with a regretful gaze. “By allowing you to live, by restoring your breath, I’m afraid I’ve broken my most sacred oath.”
His expression is broken. He’s speaking the truth.
A truth that reveals just how much I’ve misjudged him.
Axel wasn’t hiding me because he’s secretly in love with me.
He was hiding me because he wasn’t supposed to save me.
“It’s true,” he says, having eavesdropped on my thoughts. The look that follows assuring me there’s no need for embarrassment. “Dace was meant to die, not you. That’s why I was there—it was time to guide him home. But instead of Dace, I ended up taking you.”
“So it really was the prophecy, then?” I gaze off into the distance. The entire foundation of what I knew about life feels suddenly tenuous.
“Cade’s forcing it was a little premature, but only a little. It was going to happen anyway. But now, because of what he did, everything’s changed.”
“Because I died instead?”
“Partly.”
“And the other part?”
Axel looks at Dace.
“So, let me get this straight, you were there to whisk Dace to the Upperworld because it was his turn to die?”
He nods.
“But then everything got messed up, and I died instead?”
He inhales deeply, lifting his shoulders and dropping them again.
“And so, somewhere between the Lowerworld and the Upperworld you decided to save me, even though it went against your most solemn oath. And you did so in order to ultimately save Dace.” I stare hard at him, but he doesn’t respond. “And then you proceeded to hold me hostage so no one in the Upperworld would discover what you did, while everyone in Enchantment assumed I was dead.”
He turns away.
“So all of this time you were basically protecting yourself?”
He closes his eyes.
“What kind of a Mystic are you, anyway?”
“According to you, not a very good one.”
He shifts Dace higher onto his shoulder, and if nothing else, the gentle way in which he handles him tells me he truly does care for his charge. Still, there are too many unanswered questions for me to even think about lowering my guard.
“Why can’t you heal him like you did me?”