“You mean, like … shape-shifting?” I ask, already dead set against it. What if I get stuck? What if I get lost and can’t find my way back? I like being a girl. I have no desire to live out the rest of my life as a lizard, a scorpion, or anything else.
Paloma laughs, her voice soft and reassuring, as she says, “No, nieta. You will not become them, but rather you will experience what it’s like to be them. You will learn to see what they see, experience what they experience. It’s a skill steeped in much magick and mysticism—one that normally comes much later in the training, but you’re ready right now. I can feel it. It is time for you to begin.”
I don’t say a word. I have so many questions, I don’t know which to ask first.
Paloma turns, her gaze surveying the yard, moving past the empty stall waiting for Kachina’s arrival, and landing on the first animal she sees, which happens to be a mangy white cat carefully picking its way across the thick adobe wall.
She gestures toward it, her voice a mere whisper when she says, “Concentrate. Focus. Picture him for what he truly is—not just an underfed feline with matted white fur but rather a mass of vibrating energy that’s assembled itself into that form. He is energy just as you are energy, just as your thoughts and words are energy too.” She sneaks a peek and continues. “Now, focus harder. Block out everything around you, until it’s just you, and the cat, with nothing standing between you, no barriers of any kind. Merge into his energy stream, delve into his experience. Go ahead, nieta, you are perfectly safe. Let your energy blend, and mix, and merge. Allow your soul to ride tandem with his.”
I do as she says. Staring at the cat for so long everything around me goes dark. Watching as he stops, sits, lifts a delicate paw to his mouth in order to clean it with his sandpaper tongue. And the next thing I know, I’m in. It’s like I’ve become him. My energy merging with his until I’m deep inside his experience.
I’m light.
Fluid.
Graceful and agile in a way I’ve never known—never could’ve imagined.
Crossing the wall with my tail pitched high, I stop in midstep, alerted to some kind of change, aware that something’s intruded, though it’s only a moment before I realize the intruder is me.
I rise up on my paws and arch my back high, enjoying the stretch and holding the pose for a few seconds more before I set off again. Moving with such delicacy and finesse, I’m absolutely giddy with the feel of it.
Then, without any warning, his body springs forward as he leaps away from the wall and lands out of sight. Our connection so suddenly severed, I collapse on the bench in a heap.
Paloma stands before me, hands clasped over her heart, exclaiming, “Wonderful, nieta! You blended your essence with his, I could see it on your face. You became one with him! Tell me, what did you experience?”
I take a moment to settle myself, find the right words. “I felt peaceful … and light. I felt a deep profound joy at being alive … I felt all of his deep-seated instincts that guided him to do what he does … and I was painfully aware of the deep stirrings of hunger.” I look at her, push my hair from my eyes. “I think we should leave him some food so he doesn’t always have to hunt the fields and fend for himself.”
Paloma sits beside me, slips an arm around my shoulders, and says, “You are very kindhearted, nieta. Consider it done. Though I warn you, you will never get rid of him once you start feeding him.”
I shrug. Sounds good to me. For someone who was never allowed a pet, I’m building up quite the menagerie now with my horse and my cat.
After merging my energy with a spider, a lizard, and another cat—this one gray and quite fat, which pretty much covers the variety of wildlife found in Paloma’s yard—it’s time to fly with the birds.
“It’s basically the same thing,” she tells me. “But as you’ll soon see, it is very exhilarating, which is why it’s always saved for last. One needs to work their way up to such an experience. Though seeing as you are a daughter of the wind, a Wind Dancer as it were, guided by Raven, you are likely to soar ever higher. Which is why I wanted to ensure you were fully prepared before we progressed to this step. So, what do you say—are you ready?”
I nod. I’m more than ready. I can’t wait to get off the ground and soar through the clouds—or at the very least, flit from tree to tree.
Paloma’s eyes narrow, performing a quick survey of the land. Her arm lifting, gesturing toward a large, shiny black raven perched on a nearby branch.
“This is no accident.” She nods, turning toward me. “He is here for a reason. He senses who you are—knows he shares the bloodline of your spirit animal, and he is ready for you to make the bond. While he should not be mistaken for your actual spirit animal—the raven you met in the Lowerworld as well as the cave—he is still considered a brother, as are all ravens that inhabit the Middleworld. Crows are also part of the family—your arrival was heralded by them. Along with the other things I’ve already told you, Raven is a messenger of the spirit realm—the things he will show you can shift your life dramatically. He will teach you to venture into the dark in order to bring forth the light. And in some legends it is said he stole the sunlight from Coyote who was determined to keep the world shrouded in darkness—a legend that happens to be true, as it was during Valentina’s time, and she made sure to document it in some writings I will one day share with you. Though, as you well know, everything is cyclical, nieta, and it was just a matter of time before El Coyote regrouped and came back stronger than ever…” She picks at the hem of her dress, as her gaze joins her thoughts on a long-distance journey. Then shaking her head, she returns to me and says, “Anyway, enough of that—now it is time for you to join him, to soar with the raven.”
Just like I did with the cats, the lizard, and the rest, I narrow my gaze until I see only him, and a moment later it clicks. With a minimum of effort we’ve merged, and when the raven springs from his perch and soars overhead, I’m soaring right along with him. The experience so freeing, so exhilarating, it’s like every cell in my body is vibrating with the pure life force of his energy.
I gaze down upon treetops. Get a bird’s-eye view (literally!) of my neighbors’ roofs. I am the surveyor of everything. My eyes see all. Tracking the white cat I will soon claim as a pet, I watch as he stalks his prey, a small gray field mouse, then move on well before he can leap.
I soar above rutted dirt roads, over small adobe homes with rusted-out cars in the yards. Wishing we could soar all the way to the mountains, the Sangre de Cristo range that looms in the distance, but the raven has other plans. And while I’m pretty sure I could steer him, if not convince him, there’s something specific he wants me to see.
We arc left, dipping lower, gliding just shy of the telephone wires, before stopping on the shelter of the bus stop just opposite the Rabbit Hole. And it’s then that I realize what’s really happening here—while my body remains with Paloma, by merging my energy with the raven’s, I can watch the goings-on in various locations—see what he sees, no matter the distance.
We flit closer, the raven and me landing on a light post overlooking the alleyway. Seeing Auden’s station wagon parked near the back door as he and his bandmates haul equipment into the club.
My interest further piqued when Dace exits through that same door, lugging two heavy trash bags, one in each hand, stopping to allow passage for Auden’s bandmates, before making his way down the alleyway. Arms flexing from the weight of the bags, gait confident and long, moving in a way that makes the diminishing sunlight seem to shimmer around him.
I note every detail. Track every move. Torn between feelings of exhilaration and shame for spying this way. Repeating Paloma’s words in my head:
He’s not your enemy—not like the other Richters—his soul is good and pure.
He stands before the Dumpster, taking a moment to survey the alley, ensure no one’s watching, before he closes his eyes, lets go of the bags, and I stare in astonishment as they leap from his hands and dunk straight into the large metal bin.