And though my life would surely be easier if I could return his affections, I just can’t, and it would be cruel to pretend otherwise.
I take a deep breath. Al ow him to lift me out of the saddle and onto the ground, where he places me gently before him. His face mere inches from mine, hands stil grasping either side of my waist, the feel of them resulting in the usual stream of calm, cool energy I’ve come to associate with him.
“Yes,” I say, trying to soften the word, but no matter how it’s spoken, I imagine it feels like a dagger to him. “Yes, I do love him.” I sigh, feeling the need to further explain when I add, “I can’t help it. It’s just … unexplainable. It’s just one of those things.”
“You don’t have to say any more. Real y. You owe me no explanation.” His eyes bore into mine, his gaze betraying his words. He’s desperate to understand, desperate to make sense of it, desperate to know why I chose Alrik over him.
I try to smile, but only make it halfway. My voice sounding thin, unstable, when I say, “Oh, I’m not so sure about that. It feels like I do owe you an explanation, or … something.”
His hands grow warmer, his gaze deepens, and before it can go any further, he moves away, the move so abrupt it’s a moment before I adjust.
“Adelina,” he says, voice low and sweet, loaded with a reverence he’s reserved just for me. “You are aware of my feelings for you, so I won’t bore you there. But please, al ow me to speak as your friend when I say I have great cause to worry about your and Alrik’s plan.”
Not my plan, Alrik’s plan. I real y had no part in it. Stil , it’s not like I denied him. It’s not like I said no. Then again, I don’t remember saying yes either. I’d barely gotten a chance to ask a few questions before Heath barged in and put an end to our discussion. Though I choose not to share that with him.
“For one thing, the most obvious thing, the king wil be furious. Alrik’s match to Esme was planned long ago. No one’s ever fooled themselves into thinking it was a matter of the heart—except maybe Esme…” He muses, getting back to the point when he adds, “But there is much to consider, much money at stake. As it happens, Alrik’s family desperately needs Esme’s money if they are to continue their rule. And, as if that wasn’t enough, wel , then there is Esme and her family to consider. They wil gl
adly hand over a very large dowry if it means their daughter may someday wear the crown. And though I don’t claim to be wel versed in Esme herself, having only met her a handful of times, I do think it’s safe to assume that she’l be quite furious when she discovers what you two have done. And I’ve a feeling her anger could prove to be even more frightening than the king’s. There’s something about that girl—something untamed, something that knows no limits, no boundaries of any kind.” He shakes his head, hands fumbling by his sides. “And then, of course there is Rhys, who, wel , I’m sure he wil be the only one, other than you and Alrik that is, who wil be overjoyed by the news—a thought which is frightening in its own way, is it not?” His voice lifts in question, though his face remains the same, solid, fixed, with no hint of amusement.
“While it may free him to pursue Esme, his doing so wil only anger her sister. As I’m sure you know, Fiona has been interested in Rhys for some time now.”
I blink at Heath, struggling to take it al in. Even though I was wel aware of the triangle of jealousies and attractions I’m immersed in, it’s stil quite startling to have it so plainly laid out.
“What a tangle love is,” I whisper, almost as though speaking to myself. Then meeting Heath’s gaze, I ask, “So what do you propose I do then? How would you suggest I choose?”
“I would suggest you choose me.” He sighs, the sound as bereft as the look in his eyes. “I wil know going in that you wil never love me like you do Alrik, and I wil accept that. I wil also do al that I can to make you happy. I promise you, Adelina, I wil dedicate my entire life to seeing that you are wel cared for, content.”
“Heath…” I shake my head, wishing he hadn’t just said that.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least express my concerns and try to offer you a way out of what I fear wil only end in trouble, if not heartbreak, for nearly al involved.”
I nod, his words lingering, swirling with the current in my head, and the worst part is, there’s not a single thing to refute. His worries mimic my own.
Stil , I look at him and say, “And now that you’ve expressed your concerns—what now?”
“Now, I bid you good-bye and wish you much happiness.” He bows low before me.
And before he can rise, I leave him. Pressing my lips briefly to the crown of his head, pushing against the coarse golden-brown strands, before making my way toward my door. Musing to myself that no matter what happens, come tomorrow, I wil never look at my house, my life, or Heath, in the same way again. I wil be changed in a most profound way.
Aware of the weight of Heath’s gaze stil hovering, his cool, calm energy streaming, lingering, as I make my way over the stoop and inside the house.
fifteen
It’s a pebble at my window that wakes me. One sharp tap, fol owed by another, and then another, until I’m ful y roused from my sleep.
I reach for my dressing gown and pul it tightly around me, stealing a moment to brush a quick hand over my hair, before I move forward, eager to see who is there.
Expecting just about anyone, except the one whom I find.
“Rhys?” I squint, taking in his deep blue eyes and golden-blond hair. “What is it?” My heart beats in triple time as a swarm of possibilities overcome me—each one worse than the one that came before. Alrik’s had an accident—Alrik’s taken ill—Alrik’s changed his mind about me … until I final y gather my wits enough to ask, “Is it Alrik? Is he al right?”
Rhys laughs, laughs in a way that lights up his face—laughs in a way that makes him irresistible to females of al ages, al stations—
everyone from matrons, to princesses, to the lowliest chambermaids—everyone except me, that is.
“Trust me, your precious Alrik is fine. Just fine. Like a bitch in heat he can’t wait to see you, which is why he sent me to fetch you and bring you to him.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say, the words coming before I’ve had a chance to properly vet them, but once spoken, I find I don’t regret them.