Yeah, you can tell your girlfriend not to judge me—you can tell Haven not to try to kill me—you can tell Honor not to threaten me—and you can uncover the long-buried truth about Damen and me—oh, and in your free time, if you could get your hands on a certain stained white shirt and send it over to the crime lab for analysis—that would be great!
Though, of course, I don’t say any of that, instead, I just shrug and sigh louder, hoping he’ll hear it and tune in to the not-so-silent message it contains.
But if he does, he chooses to ignore it. “You know, just in case you think you’re alone in all this—you’re really not.”
I squint, not sure what he’s getting at.
“I’ve talked to her, you know. Shared some of the research I’ve run across on people who’ve had near-death experiences.”
Despite my wanting to leave, I place my hands on my hips and lean slightly toward him. “And how do you just run across that type of research?” I ask. “I mean, seriously. Isn’t that the kind of thing you have to go looking for on your own?”
He focuses on the meat, transferring it from the plate to the grill. His voice low, matter of fact, when he explains, “I saw a piece on TV once, and I found it quite fascinating. So fascinating I bought a book on the subject, which led to more books on the subject, and…so on.” He presses his spatula to the burger, causing the juices to riot and sizzle. “But you—you’re the first one I’ve met who’s actually experienced such a thing. Have you ever thought of taking part in one of those research groups? I hear they’re always looking for new subjects.”
“No,” I say, barely giving him a chance to finish the question. My answer firm, final, sparing no time to really consider. The last thing I need is to take part in some schlocky case study.
But he just laughs, raising his mitt-covered hands in surrender, saying, “Don’t shoot. Just asking is all.”
He flips the burgers, one after the other, causing a popping, sizzling, barbeque soundtrack we both stand there and listen to.
Then, as soon as they’re ready, he scrapes ’em right off and drops ’em back onto the plate, stopping long enough to look at me and say, “Listen, Ever, just give her some time to get comfortable with the idea. It’s not easy having your whole belief system challenged, you know? But if you’ll just ease up a little, she’ll come around. Really she will. I promise to continue to work on her, if you’ll promise to do your part too. And, before you know it, it’ll all blow over. You’ll see.”
Is that your prediction? I want to ask, but thankfully choke back the words. He’s only trying to help, and whether or not I believe him, whether or not Sabine will ever come around to my side, isn’t really the point. He’s just trying to connect, and the least I can do is allow it.
“But as far as school and your attendance is concerned—” He shoots me a stern look. “It’s only a matter of time before she catches on. So, try not to make things any tougher on yourself than they already are, okay? Or at least think about it anyway. Besides, last time I checked, getting a high school diploma didn’t hurt anyone. In fact, it can only help.”
I mumble some sort of halfhearted reply, give a quick wave of my hand, and head for the gate. Having no idea if the conversation was actually over, but knowing my part of it is. Those kinds of things, the rules he referred to, no longer apply. The pomp and circumstance of a high school graduation is for other people.
Normal people.
Mortal people.
Not me.
Starting my car with my mind long before I’ve reached its spot on the drive, I pull out of the gate and onto the street, speeding toward the place where I told Jude we’d meet.
fourteen
The moment I pull into the parking lot I see him.
Waiting for me in his Jeep, thumbs tapping the steering wheel in time to the music that blares from his iPod, looking so peaceful, so content to be sitting alone there like that—I’m tempted to turn my car around and head back to where I came from.
But I don’t.
This is far too important to miss.
Haven has no plans to renege on her threat, and for all I know this could be my one and only chance to convince him of the importance of this.
I pull up beside him and wave. Watching as he removes his earbuds, tosses them aside, and jumps out, leaning against the door, arms folded before him as he watches my approach.
“Hey.” He nods, studying me carefully as I heave my bag over my shoulder and straighten the T-shirt I wear over my tank top. “You okay?” He tilts his head and squints, clearly confused as to why I summoned him here.
I nod and smile, thinking if anyone should be asking that question, it should be me asking him. “Yeah, I’m good.” I stop just shy of him, unsure where to take it from here. Just because I asked him to meet me doesn’t mean I took the time to memorize my long list of talking points. “Um, and you…are you okay?” My gaze moves over him, noting how he certainly looks better than the last time I saw him, the color’s returned to his face, his gaze isn’t nearly as empty and bleak, and one glance at his vibrant green aura is all it takes to know he’s definitely on the mend.
He nods and lifts his shoulders, obviously waiting for me to make the next move, to tell him what this is really about. But when I don’t, when I just continue to stand there before him, he takes a deep breath and says, “Seriously. I’m—I’m getting used to the idea of her being gone. I mean, I can’t change it, so I may as well adapt to it, right?”
I mumble some sort of agreement, some standard-issue, easily forgettable reply. Then, knowing I’ve stalled long enough, that it’s time to get to it, the real reason we’re here, I take a deep breath and say, “And Haven? Have you seen or heard from her lately?”
He looks away, fingers working the slight sheen of stubble just beginning to show on his chin, his voice sounding tired, resigned, when he says, “Nope, not a word. Which, when you think about it, probably isn’t a good sign. But then again, this whole thing is a little out of my league, so who knows?” He glances at me for a moment, eyes moving over my face before wandering again.