head. I was barely able to tell Ava, and she's a good friend. So there's no way I'm telling this lady, no matter how grandmotherly she may seem.
"Um, I'd rather not say." I shrug, hoping she'll respect that and get on with it since manifesting these items won't work, it's imperative they spring from their original source. We look at each other, our gazes fixed, unwavering. And even though I plan to stand my ground for as long as it takes, it's not long before she breaks awayand starts riffling through the filing cabinet, her fingers flipping past hundreds of packets as I say, "Oh, and one more thing."
Searching through my backpack for my sketch of the rare, hard-to-find herb that was oft used in Renaissance Florence. The final ingredient needed to bring the elixir to life. Handing it to her as I ask, "Does this look familiar?"
Chapter Thirty-Nine
With all of our ingredients gathered—well, everything but the spring water, extra-virgin olive oil, long white tapered candles (which, oddly, Lina was out of, considering they were pretty much the most normal thing I requested), orange peel, and the photo of Damen I didn't expect her to have—we return to my car. And I'm just unlocking the door when Ava says, "I think I'll walk home from here since I'm just around the corner."
"You sure?" She spreads her arms wide as though embracing thenight. Her lips curving into a grin as she says, "It's so nice out, I just want to enjoy it."
"As beautiful as Summerland?" I ask, wondering what's brought on this sudden fit of happiness, considering how serious she was in Lina's back room.
She laughs, her head thrown back, her pale neck exposed, leveling her gaze on mine when she says, "Don't worry. I've no plans to drop out of society and move there full time. It's just nice to have the access when I need a little escape."
"Just be careful not to visit too much," I tell her, echoing the same warning Damen once gave to me. "Summerland's addictive," I add, watching as she hugsher arms to her body and shrugs, knowing I've wasted my words since it's obvious she'll be back as soon and as often as she can.
"So, you've got everything you need?"
I nod and lean against the car door. "And the rest I'll pick up on my way home."
"And you're sure you're ready?" She looks at me, her face drawn and serious again. "You know, leaving all of this? Leaving Damen?" I swallow hard, preferring not to think about that. I'd rather keep busy, focus on one task at a time, until tomorrow comes around and it's time to say good-bye. "Because once something's done, it can't be undone."
I shrug, meeting her gaze as I say, "Apparently that's not true." Watching as she tilts her head to the side, her auburn hair blowing into her face before she captures the strands and tucks them back behind her ear.
"But what you're returning to—well, you realize you'll be normal again. You won't have access to such knowledge, you'll be completely unaware—are you sure you want to return to all that?"
I gaze down at the ground, kicking a small rock instead of looking at her. "Listen, I'm not gonna lie. All of this is happening so much quicker than I expected—and I hoped to have more time to—to finalize things. But ultimately—yeah, I think I'm ready." I pause, replaying the words I just said and knowing they didn't convey what I meant. "I mean, I know I'm ready. In fact, I'm definitely ready. Because putting everything back in its place and returning it to the way it should be—well—it feels like the right thing to do, you know?" And even though I didn't mean for it to happen, my voice rose at the end, making it sound more like a question than the statement I intended it to be. So I shake my head and say, "What I meant was, it's absolutely, positively, one hundred percent the right thing to do." Adding, "I mean, why else was I granted access to those records?" Ava looks at me, her gaze steady, unwavering. "Besides, do you have any idea how excited I am to be with my family again?"
She reaches for me, hugging me tightly to her chest, whispering, "I'm so happy for you. Really I am. And even though I'm going to miss you, I'm honored to know you trust me enough to finish the job."
"I've no idea how to thank you," I murmur, my throat feeling tight.
But she just smooths her hand over my hair when she says, "Believe me, you already have."
I pull away and gaze all around, taking in this glorious night in this charming beach town, hardly believing I'm about to walk away from it all. Turning my back on Sabine, Miles, Haven, Ava—Damen—all of it—everything—as though it never existed.
"You okay?" she asks, her voice gentle and smooth as she reads my expression.
I nod, clearing my throat and motioning toward the small purple paper bag at her feet, the shop's name of mystics & moon beams printed in gold. "You sure you've got it all clear, about how to handle the herbs? You need to keep them in a cool dark place, and you don't crush them or add them to the—red juice—until the very last day—the third day."
"Don't worry." She laughs. "What's not in here," she picks up the bag and clutches it to her chest, "is in here." She points at her temple and smiles.
I nod, blinking back tears I refuse to indulge, knowing this is only the beginning of a series of good-byes. "I'll stop by your house tomorrow and drop off the rest," I say. "Just in case you end up needing it, though I doubt that you will." Then I slide into my car, start the engine, and pull away. Heading down Ocean without waving good-bye, without once looking back. Knowing my only choice now is to look toward the future and focus on that.
After stopping by the store to pick up the rest of the items, I haul the bags up to my room and dump their contents onto my desk. Riffling through piles of oils and herbs and candles, eager to get to the crystals since they're going to require the most work. All of them needing to be individually programmed according to type, before being placed in the embroidered silk pouch and set outside where they can absorb as much moonlight as possible, while I manifest a mortar and pestle (which I forgot to pick up at the store, but since it's only a tool and not an actual ingredient, I figure it should be okay to just manifest one), so I can pulverize some of those herbs and get them all boiling in some (also manifested) beakers, before mixing in all of the other irons and minerals and colorful powders that Lina poured into small glass jars which she carefully labeled. All of this needing to be completed in seven precise steps that commence with the ringing of the crystal bowl that's been specifically tuned to vibrate to the seventh chakra so it may provide inspiration, perception beyond space and time, and a whole host of other things that connect with the divine. And as I look at the heap of ingredients piled high before me, I can't help but feel a small surge of excitement, knowing it's finally all coming together after loads of false starts. To say I was worried about being able to find this stuff all in one place is putting it mildly. It was such an odd and varied list, I wasn't even sure if those items existed, which kind of made me feel doomed before I'd started. But Ava assured me not only that Lina could deliver but that she could also be trusted. And while I'm still not so sure about that last part, it's not like Ihad anywhere else to turn. But the way Lina kept squinting at me, her gaze narrowing on mine as she gathered the powders and herbs, started to set me on edge.
And when she held up the sketch I'd drawn and said, "What exactly are you practicing here? Is this some sort of alchemy?" I was sure I'd made a colossal mistake.
Ava glanced at me and was just about to step in when I shook my head and forced a laugh as I said, "Well, if you mean alchemy in its truest sense of mastering nature, averting chaos, and extending life for an indeterminate amount of time"—a definition I'd recently memorized after researching the term—"then no, I'm afraid my intentions aren't anywhere near that grand. I'm just trying out a little white magick—hoping to cast a spell that will get me through finals, get me a date for prom, and maybe even clear up my allergies, which are about to go haywire since it's nearly spring and I don't want my nose to be all red and drippy for prom pictures, you know?"
And when I saw how that failed to convince her, especially the part about the allergies, I added, "Which is why I need all that r
ose quartz, since, as you know, it's supposed to bring love, oh and then the turquoise—" I pointed at the pendant she wore. "Well, you know how it's famous for healing, and..." And even though I was prepared to go on and on, reciting the full list of things I'd learned merely an hour before, I decided to cut it right there and end with a shrug.
I unwrap the crystals, taking great care as I cradle them each in the palm of my hand, closing my fingers around them, and picturing a brilliant white light permeating straight through to their core, performing the all-important "cleansing and purifying" step, which, according to what I read online, is merely the first stage in programming the stones. The second is to ask them (out loud!) to soak up the moon's powerful energy so they can provide the service nature intended them for.
"Turquoise," I whisper, glancing at the door, making sure that it's closed all the way, imagining how embarrassing it would be for Sabine to barge in and catch me cooing to a pile of rocks."I ask that you heal, purify, and help balance the chakras as nature intended you to do." Then I take a deep breath and infuse the stone with the energy of my intentions before slipping it into the bag and reaching for the next, feeling ridiculous and more than a little hot key, but knowing I've no choice but to continue. I move on to the polished rose quartz, picking them up individually and infusing them with white light, before repeating four separate times, "May you bring unconditional love and infinite peace." Dropping them each into the red silk bag, watching as they settlearound the turquoise before reaching for the staurolite—a beautiful stone believed to be formed from the tears of fairies, and asking it to provide ancient wisdom, good luck, and to help connect to the other dimensions, before moving on to the large chunk of zoisite, and holding it in both of my hands. After cleansing it with white light, I close my eyes and whisper, "May you transmute all negative energies to positive ones, may you aid in connecting to the mystical realms, and may you—"