Lost in a Good Book (Thursday Next 2)

Havisham replaced her trainers with her less comfortable wedding shoes.

'I have Pip waiting outside,' said Estella slightly nervously. 'If you will excuse me mentioning it – Ma'am is a paragraph late.'

'Dickens can just flannel for a bit longer,' replied Havisham. 'I must finish with Miss Next.'

She turned to me with a grim look; I thought I'd better say something to soothe her – I hadn't yet seen Havisham lose her temper 'like Vesuvius', as the Red Queen had so graphically described it, and I was in no hurry to do so.

'Thank you for my rescue, ma'am,' I said quickly. 'I'm very grateful to you.'

'Humph!' replied Miss Havisham. 'Don't expect salvation from me every time you get yourself into a jam, my girl. Now, what's all this about a baby?'

The Cheshire cat, sensing trouble, vanished abruptly on the pretext of some 'cataloguing', and even Tweed mumbled something about checking Lorna Doone for grammasites and went too.

'Well?' asked Havisham again, peering at me intensely.

I didn't feel quite as frightened of her as I once did, so I told her all about Landen and why I went into The Raven to begin with.

'For love? Pah!' she responded, dismissing Estella with a wave of her hand in case the young woman got any odd ideas. 'And what, in your tragically limited experience, is that?'

'I think you know, ma'am. You were in love once, I believe?'

'Stuff and nonsense, girl!'

'Isn't the pain you feel now the equal to the love you felt then?'

'You're coming perilously close to contravening my rule two, girl!'

'I'll tell you what love is,' I said 'It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter!'

'That was quite good,' said Havisham, looking at me curiously. 'Could I use that? Dickens won't mind.'

'Of course.'

'I think,' said Miss Havisham after five minutes of silent thought as I stood waiting, 'that I shall categorise your complex marital question under widowed, which sits with me well enough. Upon reflection – and quite possibly against my better judgment – you may stay as my apprentice. That's all. You are needed to help retrieve Cardenio. Go!'

So I left Miss Havisham in her darkened chamber with all the trappings of her wedding that never was. In the few days I had known her I had learned to like her a great deal, and hoped someday I might repay her kindness and fortitude.

30

Cardenio rebound

* * *

'PageRunner: Name given to any character who is out of his or her book and moves through the back-story (or more rarely the plot) of another book. They may be lost, vacationing, part of the Character Exchange Programme or criminals, intent on mischief. (See: Bowdlerisers.)

Texters: Slang term given to a relatively harmless PageRunner (q.v.) (usually juvenile) who surfs from book to book for adventure, rarely appears in the front-story but who does, on occasion, cause small changes to text and/or plot lines.'

UA OF W CAT – The Jurisfiction Guide to Book-jumping (glossary)

Harris Tweed and the Cheshire cat took me back to the Library. We sat on a bench in front of the Boojumorial and Harris stared at me while the cat – who was nothing if not courteous

– went and bought me a pasty from the snack bar just next to Mr Wemmick's storeroom.

'Where did she find you?' snapped Harris. I was getting used to his aggressive mannerisms by now. If he thought as little of me as he made out, then I wouldn't be here at all. The cat popped its head up between us and said:

'Hot or cold pasty?'

'Hot, please.'