The air in the kitchen was hot, bubbling over like a pot left too long on the stove. I wasn’t sure how to turn the heat down, so I didn’t say anything even though my skin itched and my breath was too warm, scorching down my throat.
I didn’t want Molly or Diogo or Dane to yell at Jonathon.
Not only because yelling reminded me of the yellow house across the street I’d used to live in with Ellie and Ignacio.
But because I thought what Jonathon did was the most selfless thing I’d ever heard.
“You’re a goddamn idiot,” Dane finally said into that waxy hot silence. “You know that, right?”
Jonathon scoffed because he was Jonathon, and nothing fazed him. Nothing, not even his parents or his best friend could make him doubt himself for a second.
“You think I’m an idiot, I don’t give a fuck. As long as you’re here, you can think whatever the hell you want.”
It was so romantic to my young mind, those declarations. It didn’t matter that he cussed every sentence or bit off the ‘g’s at the end of his words. It didn’t matter that his chin was cranked so high in the air we could barely see his squinting brown eyes.
He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen, and it went beyond so much more than his pretty eyes and wavy hair.
He was beautiful like Dane was beautiful.
Because he’d committed to me the way no one else ever had.
He’d fought for me, not because of me.
I must have made a noise because suddenly both teenagers were looking at me, their faces falling simultaneously.
“You’re crying,” Hudson whispered to me, a hand cupped over his mouth as if that made his words less loud amid the silence. “Do you need a Kleenex or something? You’ve got snot running down your chin.”
I hadn’t realized I was crying, but I wasn’t embarrassed. I was every other thing: ashamed that Jonathon had made such a sacrifice, moved that he’d wanted to make it, in love with him for thinking it was the obvious choice to make when no one else would have.
Unable to articulate any of that, I let go of Hudson’s hand and slowly rounded the table. I was so filled with feelings, it cut off communication from my head to my body, my legs wobbling and my hands shaking. When I reached Molly and Diogo, I looked up at them with my heart throbbing behind my eyes, and I whispered, “Please don’t be mad at him. Please don’t send him away.”
Molly bit off a sob and covered her mouth with her hand.
Diogo blinked as if I’d pinched him then shook his head slowly as he bent in half to look me in the eye. His large, rough hand descended as it always did, so slowly, like I was a wild animal who would run, onto my head.
“We’re mad at him, Li girl, but we would never send him away, okay? Just like we’d never send you away.”
“I’ll get a job so Jonathon can go back to school and you can be happy with him and we can all live together still because I’ll have money.” Saying this in such a rush, I somehow bit my tongue, and metallic blood filled my mouth.
“Honey,” Molly said softly. “You’re six years old. You can’t get a job.”
I tipped my chin into the air like Jonathon and planted my hands on my hips. “I’ve got skills, you know. I can plant things because I have a green thumb.” I held them up for Molly and Diogo to inspect. “And people pay for pretty gardens.”
“They do,” she agreed, reaching out to clasp my hands so she could place kisses on my thumbs. “But kids can’t work. Only adults can do that, which is why we are upset with Jonathon. It’s a child’s job to learn and go to school. It’s an adult’s job to provide.”
“He did it for us,” I whispered through my throat as it closed up, my nose stopped up with tears. “Please don’t be mad. No one ever did something like that for me and Dane before.”
There was a hand on my shoulder, and I turned slightly to see Jonathon behind me. His face was sober like at a funeral, but when he crouched in front of me, I could tell it was because he was moved, and he didn’t want anyone to see it.
“You remember your dream?” he asked.
I nodded, worried it was a trick question.
“Well, it’s a dream that’s come true. There’s no goin’ back now. We’re all a big family now, and even though I did somethin’ because I felt it was right, my parents are allowed to disagree with me. Because they’re my parents, they’re gonna worry ’cause they want what’s best for me. They feel that way about me, Milo, Oliver, Hudson, and now you and Dane. They love us, and when we don’t respect them, we gotta live with the consequences’a that. But those consequences will never be to send us away, okay? That dream’s never gonna die for you, Li. You’re here with the Booths now, and you’re here to stay.”