Said she was a virgin, and she planned on stayin’ that way ’til she found someone worthy.
Her words had socked me in the gut in a weird way. I was pleased she was mature enough not to just bang some guy ’cause he was drunk or pushy and horny.
But my stomach flipped at the thought of her waitin’ like some princess in a tower for a perfect prince that would never come.
’Cause I knew, even if she didn’t, that no one would ever be good enough for her.
And if Jake Piper wasn’t proof of that, nothin’ was.
Motherfucker let another man kiss his woman?
That man bein’ me?
The man his woman had once set her unrealistic dreams on.
The man who’d crushed those dreams beneath his boot ’cause he knew he sure as fuck would never be good enough for her.
The man who regretted it soon as it happened even though he knew it was the right fuckin’ decision.
Yeah, Jake Piper was a fuckin’ dumbass.
Admittedly, so was I.
‘Cause now I’d had that ripe peach in my hand, and I’d taken that first bite. I knew the taste of her burstin’ fresh across my tongue, the feel of that silk mouth partin’ for me to eat my fill of…
And even now, days later, after days of Lila’s radio silence where she’d even missed out on Sunday family dinner, I still had that taste of her on the back of my tongue.
And despite myself, I wanted more.
Told myself it was ’cause I was a man not used to restraint.
I was a hedonist. The pursuit of pleasure was my life’s refrain, and I didn’t know how to pause the music, to stop and think before I fuckin’ acted ’cause nothin’ had ever been important enough to halt it before that.
“You’re frowning again,” Cressida said, breakin’ through my broodin’ with her sweet, soft voice.
I looked up to find her at my station, hands wringin’ at her front, hair unwashed, eyes bloodshot over dark, near black circles.
She looked like death.
As one would, their soul mate dead before their time.
“Hey, Queenie,” I murmured, instantly contrite I hadn’t been payin’ enough attention to notice how long she’d been standin’ there. “You waited long?”
She shook her head, but there was a flicker behind the sadness in her whiskey eyes that spoke of interest. “You okay, Nova? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you scowl like that.”
I laughed easily, standin’ up to fold the emaciated woman into a gentle hug. “Nah, darlin’, I’m fine. Just worried about my girl, that’s all.”
Cress peered up at me from the circle of my arms, her gaze shrewd as it probed me.
“No,” she whispered. “I think somethings happened.”
My smile tried to drop but I pinned it in place and stepped away to grab my sketchbook, gesturin’ for her to sit down as I did. “I’ll just grab the design to show ya, but take a seat.”
“Nova,” she said calmly, patient as ever. “You know I’m not going away until you talk to me, right? And I mean really talk to me, not just the cute banter thing you do.”
I gasped. “Cute? You think I’m cute? Really, Cress, that’s fuckin’ cuttin’. I expect at least adorable, maybe even enchantin’.”
She rolled her eyes, but there was a little smile on her mouth that made me feel like a million bucks ’cause she didn’t smile much now King was gone.
“It’s Lila,” she surmised in that way she had of readin’ everyone even when they tried to hide. “I wondered what happened between you two. I was shocked when she agreed to marry Jake.”
“Yeah, well, you and me both,” I muttered, slumpin’ into my stool and rollin’ beside her to hand over my sketchbook. “Man’s got zero balls.”
She raised her eyebrow at me, and even though I knew she was playin’ me so I’d spill, I ate the hook and let her reel me in.
“He was worried I was into her,” I admitted with a shrug before a sly grin destroyed my look of faux innocence. “So I kissed her.”
Cress’s eyes went as wide as twin coins. “You’re freaking kidding me?”
“I shit you not. Took her mouth, and the fucker just sat there and watched.”
“I’m not shocked Jake let you kiss her, Nova. Knowing you, I’m sure you presented it like the best possible option available to him to prove you and Lila had nothing going on. What I am shocked by is you.” She paused. “You’re curious about her.”
I snorted.
“Don’t deny it, I can tell. The scowling, the Byronic brooding… you liked that kiss.”
I stared into the eyes of one of the kindest women I’d ever known, a woman who had changed her entire life ’cause she was courageous enough to chase after somethin’ better against all the odds, and I couldn’t lie to her.
Not when she’d lost King a month ago, and this was the first time I’d seen her take a real interest in anythin’ else.