He moaned as he kissed me, a staggering sound of need that made my toes curl and my heart flip over, tumble, and right itself in my chest.
“I want you,” he muttered harshly against my lips. “I fuckin’ need you.”
“Take me,” I offered, uncaring that we were outside, that around the corner cops patrolled and brothers rolled in for church.
I just needed to give to him in that moment. I needed to stop up that awful hole in his chest where missing and grief sat and throbbed.
His breath was ragged as he cupped my face entirely in his big hands, his eyes dark as a starless night as he stared at me, into me, through me.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said achingly. “I never could.”
I put my hands over his on my face and spoke the truest thing I’d ever pulled up from my heart, a lovely bouquet of honesty. “You could tell me every dark thing you’ve ever done, every terrible thought you’ve ever had, and I’d still love you. The bad we’ve done doesn’t make us inherently bad people, Nova. It makes us human. It’s the good we’ve done that matters. And you? Everything good in my life was planted there by you. How could I not love you for that?”
His exhale moved over my face, baptising me with his sorrow, with his hope that what I’d said was right. He shifted his hands to tip my head up and bring his lips down on mine for an achingly tender kiss that was more about intimacy than lust.
I wanted the moment to be about him, to show him I was there for him, but I’d just laid my soul bare, and I needed something, anything, to shore up the walls I felt crumbling down into ruin around my heart.
“Do you…” I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to look into his eyes. “Do you feel anything like that for me?”
A groan tore through him, and he tattooed his forehead to mine, the velvet black of his eyes my entire universe. “Fuck, Lila, I feel goddamn everything for you.”
He didn’t kiss me after that.
Instead, he carefully wrapped himself around my body as if I was precious, fragile, and he was my shield and my comfort, tending to me and protecting me in equal measure. We stood there for a long time in the quiet as the cop cars finally rolled out, and the tidal swell of Harley pipes grew louder, more frequent as The Fallen brothers convened for church.
We stood there until the door of the clubhouse closed, and I knew church was in session.
Only then did Nova stir, like a bear from some deep hibernation. He didn’t release me as he stretched and groaned into wakefulness, he just pressed me deeper into his bowed body as if I was a piece of him he didn’t want to break.
“Get some sleep in a bunk room, yeah?” he offered wearily, a tired smile on his face as he tucked my hair behind my ear. “If you wake up, hang out until this gets done, and I’ll take us home.”
Take us home.
God, but those words were lovely.
I nodded, letting his eyes rake over me as he pulled away, jerked his chin up, then turned around to walk back into the clubhouse.
A heavy sigh fell from my lips as I closed my eyes and leaned back against the fence.
“Hold up,” Nova said, back suddenly, his arms wrenching me to him so he could seal my mouth in a furious kiss, running his tongue over my teeth, my tongue, the inside of my cheek, claiming every inch of me.
When we broke apart, his smile was bigger, genuine and warm with his usual charm. The sun was breaking over the horizon, spilling white gold light over the lot, the gilt limning Nova’s face. He was just straight-up, unfiltered gorgeous. From the thick waves of his dark locks glinting with threads of copper and gold, to the way his eyes caught the shine of the new day and reflected it back at me.
“Thank you,” he said, holding my hand as he started walking backward. “Thanks for bein’ my person.”
“Anytime,” I said light-heartedly as our fingers unclasped and we lost eye contact as he rounded the corner.
Then, to myself I whispered, “Every day of my life.”
LILA
The early morning air was already melting, warming like butter in a pan as the sun rose over the craggy peaks of the tall, snow-capped mountains and spilled onto the valley where Entrance was nestled amid the thick carpet of old growth trees and the narrow fingers of cliff lines that descended steeply into the sea.
My feet churned through the milky fog still clinging to the forest floor of Wolf Creek Provincial Park as I ran through the trees. I hadn’t been able to sleep after the drama-filled night. Tay and Cyclops were at the PD with Zeus and the club lawyer, Mr. White, while Lion, Harleigh Rose, Bat, and a few other brothers were at the hospital with Ransom. He had three broken ribs, multiple contusions, a severe concussion, and a stab wound that just missed his right kidney.