“I can understand,” I said after swallowing back the acidic taste of guilt in my mouth. “I’m not mad at Mama for taking her side and I’m not mad at you for saying what you need to say to me. I did a bad thing and I regret so much that it hurt her but…” I bit my lip and my hand found my tummy.
I had only known that I was pregnant for a few days, the pregnancy tests that Sinclair had gone out to get for me that morning confirming it, and yet I was already so aware. My breasts were sore, swollen slightly already and there was a tight sensation in my womb as it swelled with our baby. Sin and I had both already geeked out and bought nearly every book known to man that was written about pregnancy.
I had never imagined a man like Sinclair loving me and I had certainly never imagined having a child with that man, but now that it was happening, I was loving every single minute of it.
In fact, part of me was sincerely convinced that I was the luckiest person in the world.
“But I have never been happier,” I finished, looking up into Sebastian’s burning gold eyes. “And I’m determined to enjoy it.”
My brother stared at me, a war raging in his eyes. He had spent his entire life providing for me, protecting me from the real life monsters that haunted our reality. Sinclair had now, effectively, usurped his role and he had done it in a way that my brother had a hard time with. He was the man of our family, more a father to me even though he was nearly two years younger than me, than our own father had ever been. Now, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was also the man who had broken the heart of another one of his charges.
I went on my tiptoes and pressed my hand to his cheek. “I’m sorry to put you in this position.”
He closed his eyes, leaning into my palm. “As long as you can tell me, every day, and Gigi, I am going to be calling you every day for a while now, that you are happy, then I will be happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I said earnestly.
He nodded curtly and cleared his throat. “Now, I’m going to go say the same thing to your future baby daddy.” He looked down at my stomach and shook his head. “He sure doesn’t waste time when he really wants something, does he?”
I giggled, “No, he does not.”
Now, all of us were settled in the sunken living room having ingested far too much Di Fara’s pizza. Brooklyn was a gorgeous miasma of lights and inky blackness outside the massive windows in the clock face that sat in the center wall of the living room. The men were drinking beer, Cosima and I were sticking to tea, and the atmosphere had relaxed a little since Sebastian had his requisite talk with Sinclair and Alexander Davenport had bent enough to join the conversation.
After hours of fun and work, the mural was shaping up to be extraordinary even though we had non-artistic people helping. At one point Emma, Eddie and Cosima had sat beside each other and started a Pinterest board for the nursery that they were determined to turn into a reality.
“I can’t believe my bambina is pregnant,” Cosima said now, her head on my lap so that I could stroke her hair.
She was still pale and there was a long line of stitches on the left side of her hairline that were still an ugly red.
“I can’t believe you are married,” I half-teased, half-scolded her.
She closed her eyes. “Don’t bug me about it, Gigi, I told you that I would tell you everything soon. I just want to wait until things are less volatile.”
“What do you mean?” I asked with my hand paused mid-stroke.
“Can’t we just focus on how beautiful this afternoon has been? Look at all the people who love you,” she said, gesturing to the assorted member of my gang.
Warmth seeped into my heart at the sight of Sebastian with his tongue between his teeth as he read one of my baby books. Sinclair, Richard and Candy were talking about an upcoming event for Romani International, Eddie and Rossi were bent together over the Pinterest board they had created on my iPad and Emma was actually flirting with the nerdy but adorable Duncan Wright.
It was a good scene and it hit me hard that Sinclair and I had created this family for ourselves, this network of good people who only wished good things for us. I wished that Stefan and Odile could have been there, Brenna too, but it was enough to know that they would be there if they could. Cage was out of town for an interview on Ellen de Generes in LA but I couldn’t wait to show him our place and tell him about the baby when he got back.