With that in mind, I swallowed and pointed at my front teeth. “You’ve got a little something…” and then turned and walked out of the door, leaving him in full-blown paranoia as he scrubbed his mouth.
The ferret jizz.
Ambling to my truck, I waved at the neighbors who were out and about and then got into the vehicle as I shoved the last piece of pancake in my mouth. While I was chewing it, I reached over for the housewarming gift for Zuri and stuck the pink bow on it. Technically, the box had two presents inside it, but still.
A knock on the window had me biting back a smile, assuming it was Raul, but instead, it was Mrs. O’Jones, who lived two houses away. The woman was eighty-nine, had a shock of white hair and hands that could hardly hold anything with how arthritic they were. But she was a beautiful flirt, and my brother and I would do anything for her.
Hitting the button for the window, I leaned on the door with a smile. “Well, now there’s the most beautiful woman in the world. You stood me up for our date last night.”
“Oh,” she giggled, waving me off with a misshapen hand. “People would be gossiping if we went out dancing.”
“Your daddy said it would be okay for me to take you out, Mizz O’Jones,” I lied, seeing as how her daddy was probably alive when the first draft of the bible was written. “You broke my heart.” I clutched my chest, giving her a pout and smiling when I saw her cheeks flush bright red.
“My daddy did no such thing. He’d have chased you with his shotgun if he’d seen you when I was younger.”
“Nah, he’d just have shot me before I even took a step toward you.” Leaning closer to her, I made a point of looking around us, then whispered, “Just as well he doesn’t know about us then.”
I swear she laughed so hard I thought she was going to pass out for a second, then wiped her eyes with a lace-edged hanky that’d materialized out of nowhere. “I was just coming to tell you that I hoped she likes the presents and good luck.”
Mrs. O’Jones was my Zuri partner in crime. I’d had both items sent to her because I wanted them to be a secret. If I had them delivered to work, everyone would ask about them, and my plan would be for shit.
She’d given me hints on how to ‘woo that girl’. Sure, most of them were better suited to the forties, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t adapt them slightly to make them more modern.
“Thank you, honey. Can I see you back to your house? I hate you walking out here and across the road on your own.” She moved so slowly that my heart always leaped into my throat when I saw her crossing the road.
“I’ve got her,” a familiar deep voice sounded as my brother walked up next to her. “You stepping out on me, Mizz O’Jones? I thought I was the only man in your life. You’ve got all the men on this street wanting to be on your dance card, you know. I told you I’d run away from Rose for you.” he schmoozed as he walked her around the back of the truck, making me grin.
“Let me know how you get on,” she called over her shoulder, then went back to giggling at whatever my brother was saying to her.
Once they were clear of the vehicle, I set off toward Zuri’s new place. She’d had some sort of water damage at the old place that’d turned into black mold, so she’d moved to a new house that was closer to where I lived. I’d helped her move her shit yesterday and was going back today to help her unpack and basically do a shit ton of manual labor.
It might sound like hell, but it meant I got to spend time around her and be involved in her plans, so I was grabbing it with both hands.
Somehow—through some twist of hell and Satan’s balls—I’d friend-zoned myself when I’d met her. Sure, I was distracted by what was going on with Raul and Rose as well as what I’d just been through, but I hadn’t purposefully done it. And now I couldn’t make it disappear.
Well, at least not until now. Now I was armed with techniques and advice from every woman I knew, and I was going to use it all.
I’d even listed it:
Spend more time with her. Make sure to ask her out for meals and to do things together.
Romantic gifts, including flowers and jewelry. Big points given if the flowers are her favorite ones and you knew what they were. Zuri wasn’t huge on flowers, so I was sticking with jewelry.