I could go on, but then there’s Gjorka and everything he was doing. That was pretty uncomfortable. So was driving across the country with people I didn’t know, checking into seedy motels, and getting a wink from the person at the desk. Then some guy knocking on your door in the middle of the night at said motel because he got the wrong room and not being disappointed about the fact that you weren’t the one he’d paid for.
But I swear, nothing beats the awkwardness and discomfort of sitting in a room with a booger in your nose singing Yankee Doodle Dandy to the other occupants.
And did Carter apologize for jinxing me when I told him? When I described the absolute torment of hearing nothing but silence but then forgetting I was meant to breathe in through my mouth and there being a piercing whistling noise, did he feel bad?
Did he hell! He laughed so hard, he pulled up onto the sidewalk and got out, an irritating roaring laugh coming out of him as he braced on the hood of the car.
I was looking at all of the buttons, trying to figure out which one would turn on the siren when one of the other P.V.P.D. vehicles pulled up in front of us, and Logan of all people got out. I was hoping for Dave or Raoul, who were more serious, or maybe even Garrett, who might take pity on me and be sympathetic. But no, it was him.
I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could see expressions and read them better than words in a book. I saw the confusion on Logan’s face as he said something to Carter, I noticed him frown when Carter replied. I then watched his eyebrows go so high that the chunk of hair that’d fallen down at the front hung lower than where they ended up, and I also saw his eyes shoot over to where I was and how he ignored the glare that I shot him.
But I swear I must’ve blinked and missed the moment that any self-control he had disappeared as Carter’s hand started making little exploding motions as he held it against his nose, and Logan threw his head back, and a burst of laughter belted out of him.
The only thing I could think was—in that position, it would be karma if a bird shit in his mouth.
Just when I didn’t think that it could get any worse, another car pulled up in front of Logans and out got Canon. This time, I just covered my face with my hands and left them to it, hoping and praying for a flock of birds to fly over them and all get diarrhea at the same time.
A group of crows was called a murder, right? How perfect would that be?
Then a deep bellowing laugh joined the others, and I peeked through my fingers and saw Canon bent over with his hands braced on his thighs.
Really, my torment hadn’t been that funny, if you don’t count how horrified I was when it sounded like the booger was playing Another One Bites The Dust when I laughed at something one of the people in the meeting had said. It hadn’t just been me who’d thought it either, because one of the guys had asked the principal if the music class was learning to play the flute and how awesome it was that the music included Queen when all he’d had was classical stuff in his as a kid.
Fuck my life.
Drawing in a deep breath, I regained control of my embarrassment. Seeing as how I had zero control over anything else in my life, at least I could do that.
I needed to get home and eat something to make myself feel better. Saltines, cheddar, and pickle slices sounded good about now and were relatively guilt-free comfort food that I could make with one hand. So, I reached over and put my hand on the horn, scaring the shit out of all three of them, who jumped and spun to glare at me at the same time.
Unfortunately, I put my right hand down on what I thought was just part of the stand for the computer to go on, not realizing that it had buttons on it, too. Because of the cast, I couldn’t feel what was under it until something clicked softly, and a brrrr-ing noise blasted out, making them jump even higher.
Did you know it was an offense to do that in a police vehicle? I didn’t. Just as well Carter wasn’t Dave and I wasn’t Tabby, because she’d spent more hours in the cells than even the most prolific Piersville lawbreakers, and he’d totally have carted her in for that.
Then again, that was life foreplay for him, and Carter told me as he drove me home that they knew just to look the other way when he brought her in. That didn’t mean I didn’t get a verbal warning for doing it, though.