Red Dragon (Hannibal Lecter 1)

“Okay. You don’t mind if I think about it, though?”

“Absolutely not.”

“We’ve got a new dog.”

“Oh hell.”

“Looks like a cross between a basset hound and a Pekingese.”

“Lovely.”

“He’s got big balls.”

“Never mind about his balls.”

“They almost drag the ground. He has to retract them when he runs.”

“He can’t do that.”

“Yes he can. You don’t know.”

“Yes I do know.”

“Can you retract yours?”

“I thought we were coming to that.”

“Well?”

“If you must know, I retracted them once.”

“When was that?”

“In my youth. I had to clear a barbed-wire fence in a hurry.”

“Why?”

“I was carrying this watermelon that I had not cultivated.”

“You were fleeing? From whom?”

“A swineherd of my acquaintance. Alerted by his dogs, he burst from his dwelling in his BVD’s, waving a fowling piece. Fortunately, he tripped over a butter-bean trellis and gave me a running start.”

“Did he shoot at you?”

“I thought so at the time, yes. But the reports I heard might have issued from my behind. I’ve never been entirely clear on that.”

“Did you clear the fence?”

“Handily.”

“A criminal mind, even at that age.”

“I don’t have a criminal mind.”

“Of course you don’t. I’m thinking about painting the kitchen. What color do you like? Will? What color do you like? Are you there?”

“Yeah, uh, yellow. Let’s paint it yellow.”