“You’re idealizing me. ”
“No. I’m telling you that I want you, light or dark, every shade in between. That’s the formulation of trust, unconditional acceptance. ” He locked his gaze with hers.
“Remember, I swore it to you. No matter what happens between us, I’ll always be there for you. ”
After she gazed up at him for several moments in silence, with thoughts obviously swirling behind those vivid eyes, he noticed a slight chan
ge in her expression.
Somewhat more calm, a wary acceptance of his presence.
“Teach me this,” he repeated quietly. “Let me do this with you. ” She closed her eyes again. He pressed his hands against her palms. “Should I undress?” he asked.
“No. ” She opened her eyes in alarm.
“It’s not necessary?”
“No…it’s Chloe and Gen. They might have heart attacks. And good staff is hard to find. ”
“How about you? Will you have a heart attack?” Reaching out, he caressed her throat with his fingers, his eyes laughing.
She recaptured his hand, put the palm firmly up against hers. “Behave. This is spiritual. ”
So was touching her throat, he thought. As well as watching the changes that occurred in her body, her eyes. But he let his hand be retained.
“Yoga uses a combination of poses called asanas, breathing techniques and chanting to reach a certain meditation state where the finite self can merge with the infinite, achieving a higher state of consciousness. ”
“Are we going to chant?”
“No. ” She appeared amused at his look of male concern. “For me, the breathing and the poses are enough. I like the silence, prefer it. You hold the pose, integrate it with the breathing. As you do so you think about that base power center, the coiled serpent at the bottom of your spine. You imagine the track of the breathing as circular, moving up from the base all the way to the crown chakra and then looping back again. The way of all spirituality is circular, cycles. ”
“You use this at The Zone. When you had Brendan breathe with you at the first. ” She acknowledged his insight with a nod. “Part of that was a method called quantum breathing, which is a way of synchronizing yourself with the energy of the other person, for healing or connection. But there’s some of this in it as well. Through this, I can get to the soul and consciousness of the subs I choose, connect with them more easily. It also helps keep me focused. I don’t always know when I walk in what my intention is with the sub I’ll choose but the ritual of the breathing, the clearing of the mind, that helps reveal that intention. Ready?”
He nodded. “Do what you normally do. I’ll follow. ” What she normally did would not involve Tyler Winterman standing in close proximity to her, his palms matched to hers, him clothed, her completely not. It was odd how that felt normal, acceptable.
As she started the breathing cycles, Marguerite reflected on something else that was odd. She’d come out here to pull herself together. When she saw him, she thought she’d stay in her flustered, demented state, resigned to that condition until she could figure out a way to get rid of him. But she found that she didn’t want to get rid of him. Until he spoke the words himself, she hadn’t realized that the bereft feeling she’d had when she woke was because she thought he’d left without a word. As he worked with her now, their palms holding fast against one another, their breathing came together. The tranquility she normally achieved began to steal over her. She transitioned into the meditative state more easily than she ever had, a surprising click of mindless peace with his consciousness moving comfortably around hers, like two cherubic spirits intertwining on the spiritual plane, his presence a balancing force.
The raw edges of the past day began to smooth, the fear and anxiety receding. Her fingers slowly folded in between his, so relaxed that it felt more natural to be laced together. She was alert and aware, yet so calm it was as if she were in a dreamless sleep, just at rest. Being.
At length her internal clock warned her she’d delayed long enough. It was time to get her shower and start helping Gen and Chloe with the pre-opening routine. She opened her eyes. His were closed. Her heart clutched at the bruising and lacerations on his face. In the way of such injuries, the purple and red coloring had gotten deeper and uglier from a night’s rest. The compulsion swept over her again even more strongly than before, to cup her palms over the painful areas and brush her lips over each. To take care of him.
At the change in her breathing, his lids rose. His gaze was open, curious. Loving and accepting. For this single second, there was no tension between them, just a clear understanding that them standing here connected to each other was the most natural, desirable place to be.
“That was beautiful,” he said.
She nodded. No sense in denying it. “I…I need to help Chloe and Gen. ” He turned toward where he’d left his coffee cup, keeping hold of one of her hands.
“Would you consider sitting on your front porch with me just another few moments while I finish my coffee? I’d like your company very much. Then I’ll go, let you get to work. ”
“A few minutes. I can do that. Yes. ”
He picked up her robe off the side chair, held it out while she slipped her arms into it. Reaching around, he belted it in front of her, pulling her back against his body to nuzzle her cheek and neck with his jaw. And remarkably, she let herself lean a moment, reach up to touch him, to receive a kiss on her pulse.
“I could be good for you, Marguerite. If you let me. ”
“I’m so bad at this, Tyler. I’m…I’m sorry about last night. ” He turned her, still holding her hand to lay it over his cheek, over the taped cut from the tawser. She felt the swelling of his jaw under her palm. “There’s nothing to forgive. We’re working things out. This is just part of it. ”
“Let’s hope I don’t kill you in the process,” she said.