Fortunately, Marguerite wasn't here right now. Beyond the embarrassment of nearly dropping the pot, Gen would have had to see Marguerite's reaction to the question. Chloe was professional enough to show a certain restraint around customers--and they had a lull in traffic right now--but she was nigh irrepressible with M and Gen.
"Is this the first time you've been involved with a girl? I know it's different, with Lyda being a Mistress, and you really have a three-way thing going, but it feels a little bit like what I've always felt between you and Marguerite."
Gen turned to look at her. Lyda had made her consider the Dom/sub undertones in her relationship to Marguerite, but it surprised her to find Chloe had picked up on it, and connected a sexual element to it as well. Gen felt a moment of alarm. Did she feel...? No. Right?
"It's different." She should stop talking, but except for her own relentless internal monologue, Gen hadn't really sounded it out with a neutral party. And truth, Chloe was her best friend. Her sudden serious look of interest reminded Gen of that.
"Lyda thinks my relationship with M is a symptom of why...it's working with her. For my part, I don't know. I don't know what I am, or if I want to be boxed into a name. Gay or straight, Dom, sub or switch. Even thinking about myself in relation to those labels is new to me, no matter how familiar they feel...deep inside. If that makes sense."
Chloe nodded. "Yeah. It actually does. When I act as Brendan's Mistress, some of it feels familiar, like we all do have some of it in us, some inclinations stronger than others, but... Actually, can I tell you something without making you mad at Lyda?"
Gen's brow raised. "Yes. I think so."
"The first time I met Lyda was at that BDSM carnival Tyler and Marguerite do each year. Lyda
saw me with Brendan, and she didn't hold back. She made it clear she thought we'd fail, because I couldn't be what Brendan needed."
That was a little more than Noah had implied. Despite her assurance, Gen felt a spurt of anger on her behalf, especially seeing the shadow cross Chloe's face. It told Gen that Lyda had hurt her feelings and cast doubts on her relationship with Brendan, at least at the time. "That's just stupid. Seeing the two of you together--"
"I know. I know that now. But in a way, it was good to have someone like her question it, because it brought my own worries about it right up to the top to confront them. I wanted Brendan to be happy, and now I know that was what Lyda wanted too. Dommes can be pretty scary-protective of those they care about. As if we haven't noticed." She tipped her head toward Marguerite's empty office.
"I figured out that it didn't matter that I'm not a dyed-in-the-wool Mistress like Marguerite or Lyda. Brendan, the way he treats me, acts toward me, tells me he serves me. That summons the part of me that can give him a more souped-up version of what he needs, when he needs it. And that works for us. How much we love each other is more important than any definition of what either of us is. We can't imagine a day without the other being a part of it. That's why it works. It's fluid, Gen. Don't let anyone make you think it has to fit into a shoebox. You create the box in which it fits, and that box can change in size and shape, depending on what you put into it."
When Chloe put her hand on Gen's, underscoring her earnestness, Gen sighed. "I've been married twice, and I never questioned being in a monogamous relationship with a man. I don't even question it now, because it was what I wanted then, no matter that I made some poor choices. But it was a safe paradigm. Now I'm completely baffled. I can't stop thinking about either one of them. And not just together. It's separate and together. But they're still a package deal in my head, if that makes sense."
"Sounds exciting and fun." Chloe slid around the counter, nudged hips again. "I know you like things to be comfortable, and there's nothing wrong with that, much as I harass you. As long as you're happy. But this seems to make you happy too. In a thrilling, scary way."
Gen looped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "Yes. I think it does."
Chloe gave her a sly look. "So have you ever fantasized about Marguerite?"
"No. And I don't suggest you do it, either. Tyler strikes me as the type to be possessive, regardless of gender."
"Well, hot as M is, Tyler's the one I fantasize about. In full color."
"What red-blooded woman doesn't? Might as well stop breathing as try not to do that." Gen said. "Though if you don't share pictures of Brendan naked and tied up on your bed, I'll tell M about that morning you sneaked a glance at Tyler bare-assed in the upstairs bedroom when she was doing her yoga in the garden."
Chloe's eyes widened, then she snorted with laughter. Yanking Gen's ponytail, she escaped from behind the counter to greet and seat some incoming customers.
As Gen started preparing the order she heard Chloe taking, she pushed away guilt. She rarely lied to Chloe, but she wasn't prepared to share that yes, she had fantasized about Marguerite.
It wasn't a sweaty sex fantasy, and she didn't fantasize about her boss regularly. Just when random things hit her a certain way. Like the time Marguerite had been sitting at her desk, dressed for a meeting with the bank. She'd been wearing a snug blue skirt with a sheer blouse tucked into it. Her lace-clad breasts had been outlined through the fabric. She'd worn a pair of slender heels. Simple accessories that enhanced the beautiful woman's odd mix of fragility and strength.
Gen had been preparing her morning cup of tea like she always did, but when she moved to bring it to her boss, an erotic vision had taken hold of her imagination. She saw herself in an ancient Far East setting where Marguerite was the lady of the house and Gen the servant. Marguerite sat on folded knees on a cushion, painting graceful black slashes on a curl of parchment. She wore a silk kimono in peacock colors, her hair in a thick bundle on her neck. Gen knelt at Marguerite's side and held the teacup out before her bowed head, holding it steady as if her hands were the table.
Marguerite lifted the cup, sipped, set it back down, paying no attention to her. Until she finished her task. Then she turned, removed the tea from Gen's hands and framed her face in her cool, long-fingered hands. She pressed her lips to Gen's mouth, giving her a teasing touch of tongue before she dismissed her, leaving her aching.
"Gen?"
Gen saw Chloe standing on the other side of the counter, waiting for the order. "You really are in the falling-in-love-zone today," her friend said, low, though her eyes danced with mischief. "Bad as me when I was falling for Brendan. Almost as bad as M falling for Tyler. Though in all fairness, he jerked the rug out from under her and then claimed she was falling for him."
"While that may be accurate, it still had the same results."
The screen door creaked as Tyler entered from the side hallway. Through the open door, Gen saw his black Ferrari, one of several vehicles he drove. From the look on Chloe's face, Gen knew the girl had heard the car purr up the driveway and intended to tease him. Gen was the only one taken unawares.
Neither of them had been exaggerating about Tyler Winterman. It wasn't just his amber tiger eyes and dark, salt-and pepper hair, nor even the powerful, well-dressed body that emanated power and wealth. The man had an authoritative, sexy vibe that said he was an alpha's alpha, which wasn't a bad way to describe his and Marguerite's relationship. His unquestioning love and devotion to their reserved boss only enhanced his appeal. Gen was never surprised to see female customers pause with cups halfway to their mouths or completely forget what they were talking about when he came into the tea room. She'd known he was a Dom for a while, but the way Lyda was grooming her Dom/sub radar, it hit Gen's senses particularly hard today.
"I'm thinking the mega-rich thing saved your ass," Chloe said. He aimed a swat at her backside as she danced out of range. "Hey, that's sexual harassment."