“Yes, but—” I started.
“No buts,” he said, dropping his hands from me and taking a step back. “I’m telling you what I need. I love you. I need to know that you love me, too, and that you’re going to stay with me.”
“I can’t promise you that,” I said, feeling my buzz wear off instantly. My doubts returned, numerous and ugly. “I don’t know if I can. What if I think that I’m not the right thing for you? I love you—I want you to have everything in life that you’re supposed to have. And that’s probably not me.”
“Do you think I give a f**k,” he spit out, “what my parents think? When I first realized that I had feelings for you, I was afraid. But not of them—I was afraid for you. I didn’t want to ask you to be with me, because I knew they wouldn’t treat you fairly.
“But now that I know you love me and we’re together, I don’t care—I’ll let you make a choice about whether or not you want to subject yourself to their dislike, sure. Because that’s fair, and that’s your choice to make. But if you think I’m going to let you choose what’s best for me, you’re f**king crazy. Because I already know what that is. It’s you. I choose you.” He crossed his arms across his powerful, nak**ed chest. “So there.”
“What your mother said to me about the future makes sense, James,” I said, holding my ground. “Your kids are going to have more money than you even have. Scary money. And I’m a f**king whore, James. People will find out about me. You can’t let your kids have a whore for a mother.” All of a sudden, the truth of what I was saying hit me, and hot tears spilled down my cheeks.
“Stop.” He came back to me then, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. “If we were lucky enough to have kids, and they were lucky enough to have you as a mom…they wouldn’t care, Audrey. We’d teach them about the real world. In the real world, you have to make choices. Hard choices sometimes. But you do it to protect the people you love the most.”
He held me fiercely, and I clung to him. “Because that’s what a real family does. They would be lucky to have you, Audrey. And so would I.”
James
“They would be lucky to have you, Audrey. And so would I.”
Once I had put all my cards on the table, I held my breath. I loved her, and I wanted her to know it wasn’t just for now.
I wanted a hell of a lot more than that.
“Is it okay if I cry again? For just a second?” she asked, clinging to me.
“One second,” I said. “We are on vacation, after all.”
She nodded against my chest. “I just didn’t think,” she said, sniffling. “I didn’t know. I never even let myself hope—”
“It’s okay,” I said, stroking her hair. “We’re together now, and everything’s going to be okay.”
After a second, as promised, she calmed down and pulled back from me, wiping her eyes. “I’m a mess,” she said and laughed.
“You’re a hot mess,” I corrected her, my hands skimming down her skin again. Actually, she was freezing; our bathing suits were still wet, and she was covered in goose flesh. “I think there’s a hot tub out back. Do you want to go in it?”
“That sounds good,” she said. I grabbed her hand and led her through the house to the small, private, fenced-in backyard. There was a large hot tub back here and an outdoor shower. We both got in, and I hit the jets; the hot water felt amazing. I pulled her to me, resting my hands on top of her bikini bottom.
“No one can see us back here, right?” she asked, looking at the high fence. Before I even had the chance to nod, she’d undone the top of her bikini, throwing it casually to the side. Her bre**asts were round and luscious, her nipp**les hard from the chill. She had the faintest beginnings of a tan imprinted on her skin. She stepped out of her bottoms and threw those to the side as well, coming to me.
It had been too long. She must have felt it, too. The need.
Without a word, she leaned up and pulled my face toward hers, drawing me in for a deep, luxuriant kiss. Our tongues connected, and I got rock hard again. She quickly undid my swim trunks and pushed them down, grabbing my thick co**ck within her hands expertly, stroking me up and down in the hot, bubbly water. She took her other hand and cupped my balls lovingly, all the while twining her tongue around mine, making me wild for her.
I was so hard it almost hurt. “Poor baby,” Audrey said, still stroking me. “All that crying I did, and you just needed some attention.”