Earth Unaware (The First Formic War 1)

"I'm seventeen, Mono. I'd be lucky to get an assembly-line job. No one would take me seriously. Out here we can do whatever we want. On Earth it's different. Besides, you and I did this together. The stabilizer was both of us."

"I helped with mindless welding and soldering in the workshop. The ideas were yours."

"Your hands are way steadier than mine. You do the micro work far better than I do. Even Father can't solder like you."

Mono beamed.

When they floated out of the decompression chamber and back into the cargo bay, Isabella was waiting for him. She was Chilean, zogged by the family when Victor was just a kid and married to Mother's second cousin. More importantly, she was very close with Janda.

"I need to speak with Vico in private, Mono," said Isabella. "Would you give us a moment?"

Mono shrugged. "I got circuits to rebuild in the workshop. See you around, Vico."

Isabella waited until Mono was gone, then turned to Victor. "I know you're upset. And I don't blame you."

Victor kept his face a blank. Isabella wasn't quite old enough to be on the Council, so she might not be speaking of Janda.

Isabella rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb, Vico. I'm not an idiot. I know what just happened here. They sent Jandita away. And you hid out with the machinery instead of telling her good-bye."

"Yes, I was a coward," said Victor.

"No, you weren't," said Isabella. "You were trying to make sure nobody on Vesuvio ever accused Jandita of being in love with a cousin. And don't look surprised. Just because I figured it out doesn't mean anyone else did. Jandita was a model of composure at the airlock. I don't think anyone suspected a thing. She actually made the Italians believe she was excited about going."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Jandita is my niece, Vico. I am her favorite aunt. I know her thoughts better than her own mother perhaps. Plus, I'm observant. I see and hear all." She gave Victor a wink, and he furrowed his brow. "Relax," she said. "I never saw anything improper between you two. What I mean is that I know the signs. Jandita is not the first girl to have fallen in love with her cousin, you know."

Victor read the rueful expression on her face. "You're confessing?"

"I was eighteen. He was my second cousin as well. I doubt he even knew that I loved him. The year I realized it, I came to this ship and married your uncle Selmo."

Technically Selmo wasn't Victor's uncle. He was his second cousin once removed, but all men on the ship were uncles, more or less.

"Does Selmo know?" asked Victor.

Isabella laughed. "Of course he knows. We laugh about it now. I was young and starry-eyed. I barely knew what I wanted in a husband then."

"So Alejandra is starry-eyed and naive."

"Not at all. I suspect she will think of you for the rest of her life. She's far more mature at sixteen than I was at eighteen. My point is you're not a villain, Vico. I know you. You'll beat yourself up over this, and you shouldn't. She's your second cousin. Any place on Earth, you could have married, and no one would have batted an eye."

"Maybe that's because there are more sick and twisted dirtbags on Earth."

Isabella laughed. "They're human, Vico. Just like us. We can't help it if we hold ourselves to a higher standard." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Promise me you won't torture yourself over this."

What did she expect of him? That he could shrug this off and chalk it up as one of those life experiences that everyone has? Isabella meant well. That was clear. She loved him like she loved Janda. But words of comfort couldn't bring the comfort she wanted to give. He wasn't going to wake up tomorrow and think: What a valuable life lesson that was. He wasn't going to move on. Not here, at least. He realized that now. Everywhere he turned he would see Alejandra. Everything would spark a memory of her. She would haunt him here. How could he take a bride onto this ship? Even if the family zogged someone for him in the next year or so, how could he parade a wife through halls that reminded him of someone else? Of course zogging had worked for Isabella. Of course she could move on. She had left that previous life behind her. She had closed that door. Nothing in her new life would remind her of her old one. Victor wouldn't have that luxury. Not if he stayed here.

I need to get out, he realized. Go to Luna perhaps. Or Earth or Mars. He didn't know how to make it happen, but he knew in that instant that it must.

He looked at Isabella and gave her the smile she expected. "I will do my best."

She looked content. "Good. I'll be watching you. If I sense any self-loathing, I will beat you senseless."

"I'm sure you could. But honestly, I'll be fine."

"No you won't. But I'm glad you'll try."

They parted then. Victor went to the lockers and changed out of his spacesuit. He would have to tell his parents that he was leaving. Mother would argue with him, but Father would see the sense in it. As much as Father would hate to admit it, he would agree with Victor. He couldn't leave immediately, of course. He didn't have the means. It would be months before they found another family willing to give Victor a ride in that direction. But he could prepare himself now. He could start today. Luna, Earth, and Mars all had gravities, and Victor's legs weren't strong enough to take on the Gs. He needed strength training. He needed the fuge.