My fingers swipe across her arm as she moves away, holding on to her until the very last second. I'm not sure if she feels the tips of my fingers, or how badly they want to stay right where they are, but I swear she hesitates too before moving to her spot at the altar.
Stepping next to Ryder, he gives me a nervous smile, his hands anxiously tapping at his sides. Patting his shoulder, I lean in and whisper.
“Relax man, you got this.”
He nods, wiping light beads of sweat off his forehead. Letting out a heavy breath, Ryder focuses on Jenna as she comes down the aisle. Instantly his body relaxes. His hands stop moving, his muscles smooth and still.
All the guests stand up from their seats as she comes down the aisle. Everyone is looking at her, and they should be. She looks beautiful.
Except, I can't take my eyes off Siobhan. I'm trying like hell, I swear I am, but it's not working. She's the star in my eyes. The sun is lighting up her skin. The wind is ruffling the strands of hair that are framing her face, and all I can think about is slipping my tongue into the slit of her cleavage.
What the hell is wrong with me?
It's my best friend's wedding and all I can think about is fucking one of the bridesmaids.
Forcing myself to look at Jenna, I can see the happiness and love in her eyes as she reaches Ryder. His smile is so big it fills his face, and his eyes are full of happiness.
She compliments him. She balances him. She completes him.
I want that too.
2
Siobhan
Sitting at the table, I swirl the alcohol in my glass and watch Mark as he chats with a few people I don't know. He's hotter than I would expect for a country boy. Tall, dark, and handsome don't even sum him up. He has broad shoulders, a sharp jaw that's covered in a thick, well-groomed beard, and dark brown eyes. His arms are thick, his hands strong. His voice heavy and deep, but smooth as cognac.
Butterflies swarm my stomach as I watch him grin, tipping his head back and laughing with the small group he's standing with. Running my finger around the rim of the glass, I sit back, enjoying the view.
I don't know what I really expected with this wedding, but I didn't think I could have ever envisioned this. In New York City everything is all glitz and glam. Go big or don't go at all, that's basically the rule. Crystal glasses, giant venues with hundreds of people. Ice sculptures, gold flakes in your champagne, that's the type of wedding I'm used to seeing.
But here, in the barn at Ryder's farm, I can't lie, I like how this feels. It's small, quaint, and has so many personal touches that speak to who the bride and groom are. There are no big and flashy chandeliers or servers walking around with caviar.
Bales of hay rest against the back wall, decorated with white lights. The tables have small glass vases with floating candles and flower petals. The food is buffet style, hometown barbecue with ribs and baked beans, corn bread, and prime rib. Food I don't typically eat in New York, and it's delicious.
This isn't a wedding to impress people, it's a wedding of love. Simple, homey, and still extremely beautiful. I thought I was going to feel awkward and out of place, but I don't. Everyone is friendly, smiling and laughing, striking up conversations so easily.
This is worlds away from the city.
Taking a sip of my drink, I let my eyes drift back to Mark. He happens to glance over at me at the same time, giving me a smile as he lifts his drink in the air. Lifting mine back, we both take a sip at the same time.
Turning his attention back to the guy he's talking to, he keeps looking over at me from the corner of his eyes. Smiling into my glass, I suck the rest of my drink down. I feel giddy every time he glances my way, like a schoolgirl with a crush.
I'm trying to not get overly emotional tonight. I'm about to lose one of my best friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for Jenna. I am. But this changes everything.
She's not coming back to the city with me. She won't be a block away anymore. I'm not going to be able to call her up to grab lunch or coffee out of the blue whenever the mood strikes anymore. And it sucks.
Jenna is one of the only people that I've met whose personality goes deeper than the surface. I can talk to her about anything. And she's interested in more than just designer clothing and what fashion trend is coming next.