Still, I waited to hear from him again. And I waited. And waited some more. Through Christmas, I waited for him to call or message but there was nothing. I received a call from an unknown number on Christmas Eve, but when I answered it was only static. Probably some crappy telemarketer trying to get a last-minute deal before the end of the year. But nothing from Jeremy. It was like the message had never happened.
Just like that my heart shattered all over again.
I tried not to act depressed, but Jeremy’s disappearing act on top of the never-ending morning sickness was making the holiday period a downer.
It was the day after Christmas and our house was full of family and friends. My parents had hosted a post-holiday gathering every year since I was a kid. It was similar to the British Boxing Day when my mom would pull out all the leftover Christmas food and we’d gorge ourselves all over again and watch movies. Adam and Meg usually commandeered the television and would force the rest of us to endure hours of The Lord of the Rings trilogy until we wanted to scream.
I wasn’t enjoying it this year though and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. I wasn’t in the mood to plaster a smile on my face and pretend I was okay when I wasn’t.
I was sitting in the corner of the living room, an observer when I was usually a participant in the festivities. Adam was giving me some space, which I appreciated. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to another rousing rendition of Jeremy is a Jerkface.
Mom brought me a hot chocolate, but everything I swallowed soured my stomach.
“I have something for you,” Whitney said, appearing by my side. I noticed she had arrived with her mother, June, a while ago. She handed me a box of teabags.
“Ginger tea?” I asked as she sat down beside me.
“Ginger works like magic on morning sickness. Drink a cup in the morning, or whenever you feel it getting worse. Trust me, it’s a life-changer,” Whitney assured me.
I looked at her questioningly. “How would you know this works for morning sickness?” I couldn’t help myself from asking. Since Whitney had moved home, she had been pretty tight-lipped about her life and her reasons for moving home. She told everyone that she wanted to be here for her mom and Meg, which I was sure was true, but I could also sense there were other reasons.
“I had a miscarriage. Last year. I was only twelve weeks, but my morning sickness had been awful. Ginger tea was the only thing to give me any relief,” she said quietly, her eyes downcast.
Whitney had been pregnant? “I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” I responded.
Whitney gave me a small smile. “You don’t need to be sorry. It was probably for the best. I wasn’t in a position to take care of myself, let alone a baby. And you wouldn’t have known because I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Mom.”
Sensing she didn’t want to talk anymore about it, I lifted the box of tea. “Thanks for this. Want to come with me while I make some?”
“Sure.” Whitney followed me into the kitchen.
I filled the tea kettle and put it on the stove, switching on the burner. “Want some?” I asked, pulling down a tea mug.
“No thanks, I’ll stick to the hard stuff,” Whitney said, pouring herself a glass of wine.
She was putting the bottle of white wine back in the refrigerator when Kyle walked in carrying his daughter, Katie, who was wearing an adorable red velvet dress.
“Hi, guys. I was looking for Katie’s diaper bag. I’m pretty sure I left it in here—oh there it is.”
He and Whitney caught sight of each other, both going still as an unspoken vibe passed between them. I watched the two of them curiously.
“Hey, Webber. Merry Christmas to both of you.” I gave him a hug and kissed Katie’s head, breathing in her clean, baby smell. Her tiny face made my heart clench, making me think that this time next year I’d have my own little one to dress up for Christmas.
Katie’s mouth screwed up and she let out an ear-splitting wail. Kyle started to bounce her, trying to soothe her. “I think she’s teething. She’s been doing the whole screaming her lungs out thing for days. She’s not sleeping. She’s crying constantly.” He looked frazzled as he rooted around in the giant bag he had brought with him. “I’m pretty sure I packed a teething ring.”
“Here, let me take her,” Whitney offered just as the tea kettle started whistling.
“Thanks, Whit,” Kyle said, his smile so sweet it would make your teeth ache. He passed his daughter to Whitney, who held her like a pro. The little girl continued to fuss, but Whitney started singing to her in a soothing, quiet voice. After a few minutes, the baby stopped crying and laid her head on Whitney’s chest.