How could I have been so stupid?
I needed to call Kyle and tell him—
My phone was missing. It must still be in the mangled carcass that was my car.
“I need to call my husband so he can meet us at the hospital. I don’t have my phone,” I said shakily, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice. I didn’t want to frighten Katie any more than she already was.
“Dada,” Katie whimpered, her big eyes full of tears. “Dada.”
“My colleague can call him. What’s his number?” the woman EMT asked. I rattled off the number, and she made the call. I tried not to listen, instead, focusing on Katie. But I could hear his voice shouting through the phone.
“They’re being taken to Southport General,” the woman EMT told him. After she hung up, she gave me a grim smile. “He’ll meet you there.”
When we arrived at the ER, I could see Kyle waiting for us, his face a picture of grief and worry. Beside him stood Josie, wringing her hands.
The back of the ambulance opened, and the paramedics rolled Katie down the ramp. Kyle was immediately by her side, Josie running along beside him. I could hear Katie call out, “Dada.” And I started to cry again as I watched him take her tiny hand.
“Ma’am, you need to be checked out,” a nurse was telling me as I got out of the ambulance. I was trying to catch up with Katie and Kyle but was stopped.
“I’m fine. I need to be with my family.” I tried to fend her off. I hurried after them as a doctor was now wheeling her into triage.
“Whitney,” Kyle said when he saw me, his face wet with tears. “What happened?”
“It’s all my fault, Kyle. I ran a red light. A car hit us. I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t stop shaking. My teeth chattered so hard it was difficult to speak.
“Oh my God, Whitney. How could you?” Josie gasped, covering her mouth, her eyes red from crying. “Kyle trusted you to drive her safely.”
“Shut up, Josie. Just shut up!” I snapped, not able to control myself.
Kyle narrowed his eyes. “Now is not the time for this. I can’t—” he shook his head and turned to head back to where they had taken Katie.
Josie immediately started to follow, as did I. A nurse stopped us. “Immediate family only.” She looked between us.
“Well, I’m her mother. This is just her father’s wife.” Josie puffed up her chest with self-importance.
Kyle had disappeared behind a curtain. I should be there for him. For Katie.
This was all my fault.
The nurse motioned for Josie to head back, then gestured for me to go to the waiting room.
“I can’t go back there? I’m Katie’s step-mom—”
“Immediate family only,” the nurse repeated firmly.
Immediate family only. And it was clear I wasn’t considered immediate family.
I made my way out to the waiting room and sat down heavily in a chair. A nurse called me back to be checked out a few minutes later. I needed six stitches and had a bruised rib from the airbag, but I was otherwise okay. I returned to the waiting room to marinate in my guilt some more.
Those horrible minutes after the impact kept replaying in my head. The sound of Katie’s screams, then the terrible moment they stopped. The fear. The gut-wrenching agony as I wondered what had happened to her.
I could have killed Katie.
All because I hadn’t been paying attention.
What sort of parent did that make me? Who was I trying to kid playing house with Kyle and Katie?
I wasn’t a mother, never would be.
“I didn’t know you were still here.”
I looked up to see Josie standing there, her cheeks flushed, her eyes puffy. I jumped to my feet. “How is she? What did the doctors say?”
Josie’s rosebud mouth curled in disapproval. Obviously aimed at me. I’d take it, though. I deserved it. “She has a broken arm and lots of bruising. She had a nasty cut on her head that needed stitches and a possible concussion.”
“Oh my God!” I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.
“She’s in a lot of pain. They’re getting ready to move her to a private room in the pediatric ward. We’ve decided to put her on my insurance because it gives better coverage,” Josie felt the need to add.
“Oh, I’m glad. Katie needs the best care she can get.” I clenched my hands together. I tried not to be obvious as I looked for Kyle, but of course, Josie noticed.
“I’m just going to the cafeteria to get Kyle and myself some coffee. He won’t leave her side. He’s such an incredible dad,” Josie said softly.
“He is. The best,” I agreed. I wanted to ask if I could see them, but I knew Josie was definitely not the person to go through. Then a thought came to me. “How did you know to come to the hospital? Did Kyle call you?”