Say It's Not Fake

Josie’s bottom lip trembled. “But I love you, Web. I’ve always loved you.”

I looked at her with a sad sort of disappointment. “No, you don’t, Josie. You love something that has never existed. If you loved me or Katie, you wouldn’t be doing all this. You wouldn’t be threatening our happiness just to prove something to yourself.” Then I walked over to my parents, turning my back on Josie. Probably for the last time by the look on her face.

And I was right. When I turned around, I saw her pushing through the emergency room doors, heading to the parking lot.

“Hi, Kyle. How is our girl?” Mom asked, getting to her feet and hugging me.

“She’s doing fine. A little banged up and a broken arm, but otherwise she’s okay. I’ll be taking her home later today.” I scrubbed my face with my hand. “Did Whitney call you?”

Dad nodded. “She called yesterday evening. We came last night for a few hours but figured you were staying back there with Katie. We got here first thing this morning.”

“Did Whitney come with you?” I asked, looking for her. Desperate to see her.

Dad and Mom exchanged a look. “No. We haven’t seen her. I thought she’d be here. It’s not like her not to be,” Mom said with concern.

“I think she and Josie had some words. I haven’t spoken to her. I’ve only just left Katie’s side. I think I’ll try calling her now. Would you guys like to go back and sit with Katie? I’ll let the nurse on duty know it’s okay.”

Once my parents were settled in with a still sleeping Katie, I went outside to call Whitney. Part of me thought she wouldn’t answer, but I was pleased when she picked up.

“How is she?” she asked in a rush before I could say hello.

“She has a broken arm, some bruising, and a few stitches, but otherwise, she’s okay, Whit.”

I heard her let out a shaky sob. “She’s okay?”

“Yes, Whit. She’ll be fine. How are you? I should have come and made sure you were alright. Were you hurt?” In all the anguish over Katie, I had forgotten there was another person in that car. The thought of something happening to Whitney turned my blood cold. “Please tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, Kyle. Just some bruises.” She sounded distant. As if she were talking to me from far away.

“Thank God. I couldn’t handle something happening to you. I was so scared, Whit. When I got that phone call—”

“I’m so sorry, Kyle. My God, I’m such an idiot. If I hadn’t been trying to send you a text, it wouldn’t have happened. I have no excuse. I was driving Katie; I should have been more aware of what was going on. This is all my fault, and I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Whitney, it was an awful, horrible accident. Should you have been paying better attention? Yes. But I can’t beat you up any worse than I know you’re beating yourself up. I forgive you, baby. I don’t blame you. Not in the slightest.”

She didn’t say anything. Not a word. So, I continued, “I’m going to bring her home this afternoon. Where are you? Do you want to come to the hospital? Katie will want to see you.”

There was a deafening silence. I wondered briefly if she had hung up.

“Whit?”

“I’m taking the job in Hungary,” she said softly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Roger sent me a ticket. I think I need some space. I need—”

“No!”

I heard her crying. I knew the sound of her tears.

“Please, hear me out, Kyle. I’m not abandoning you and Katie. I’m not. But we really didn’t think this through. I’m not fit to be a mother. I think that’s obvious. I’m a screw-up. I freak out too easily. I don't think I can give you the settled, calm life you want.” She was talking so fast I could barely understand her. As if she were trying to get the words out before she lost her nerve.

“Whitney—”

“It’s four months, Kyle. Four months. That’s it. And when I get back, we’ll talk. But while I’m gone, I think you should take the time to let Josie get to know Katie. She’s her mother. You owe it to yourself and your daughter to see what kind of family you can be.”

There it was. I knew it.

“These are Josie’s words. Not yours.”

Shuddery breaths, more tears. “Kyle, I believe this. I can’t replace Katie’s real mother. It’s horrible for us to think otherwise. I don’t want you to lose your child.”

“Did Josie threaten to take her? Is that why you’re doing this? It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it. But I need you here. Are you listening to me, Whit? I need you.” I was crying now too. It was all too much. Katie, the accident, Josie, now this. I felt on the edge of collapse. “Don’t leave, Whitney,” I begged.