Say It's Not Fake

“Okay, wow, that’s incredible.” I had no idea about any of this stuff.

“He doesn’t talk about the things he does because he’s a very private person. But he’s a little too private. He won’t talk about anything serious. He won’t tell me about himself beyond things he’s done. He’s a total black hole. And as much as I appreciate a good mystery, life’s too short, ya know?”

I nodded. “I get exactly what you’re talking about.”

“Anyway, I’ve been blowing him off for a couple of weeks now. I thought he’d finally gotten the hint, but maybe not.” She shrugged again.

“Maybe you need to give him a chance. Sometimes things are worth fighting for,” I said, looking out at the passing cars.

“Don’t go and try putting your overly dramatic love life crap on me. Your situation is completely different,” Skylar snapped.

“Fine. You do you, Murphy.” I let my eyelids drift shut.

And then I was out.

Skylar nudged me thirty minutes later. “We’re here.”

I sat up, wiping my eyes, and stared out at the busy airport.

“Shit. Here goes nothing.” I opened the door and got out.

“I’ll go park. Text me when you have her, or whatever. Let me know one way or another if you need a lift.”

“You don’t mind waiting around?” I asked.

Skylar smiled. “Call me a sucker for a good romance story.”

Chapter 18

Whitney

I couldn’t shake the feeling I was making the biggest mistake of my life.

No. This was for the best. Sure, it would hurt. Kyle and Katie would miss me. But it was better to make the break now than a year down the road. Surely I would fuck up even worse than I had already. I didn’t trust myself to be selfless. To be the wife and mother they both needed.

And Josie was right; they were her family. Not mine. The marriage was never meant to be real. It was a convenience. But now Josie was in the picture again, and it made sense I bow out.

Right?

I wiped tears from my eyes as I moved through security.

My mom hadn’t been happy when I told her what I was doing.

“You’re running, Whitney Rose. And I didn’t raise you to hide from responsibility. You committed to that little girl and her father. What the hell is wrong with you?” I couldn’t remember the last time I heard my mother cuss.

“It’s only for four months. You were the one encouraging me to resume my passion,” I reminded her weakly, knowing all arguments would fall flat.

My mom shook her head. “I don’t know what happened to my strong, compassionate girl to turn her into a woman so terrified of being hurt and hurting others that she’d rather fly thousand of miles away that own up to a mistake and move forward.”

“I almost killed her, Mom,” I whispered, my voice broken.

Mom put her hands on either side of my face and looked me square in the eyes. “You had an accident. A bad accident. One that you could have died in as well, don’t forget. You take responsibility. You show your contrition, and you stick by those people that love you.”

I wavered. My mother should have been a politician. Or a used car salesman. She could sell sand to someone living in the desert.

Then I remembered the sound of Katie’s cries from the backseat. The image of Josie and Kyle going back to triage at the hospital. Josie’s pleas to give her a chance to be with her family.

I’m the one in the way here.

I gave my mother a kiss. “I’ll call you when I get settled. Don’t tell Meg until I’m gone, please. I don’t think I can take her disappointment too.”

Mom shook her head. “I’m just sad for you, Whitney. So sad. You sabotage your happiness before it has a chance to bloom.”

I got in the taxi waiting for me in front of my mother’s house and cried the entire way to the airport.

And then Kyle called before I got there, and I almost had the driver turn me around. The brokenness in his voice almost unraveled my resolve.

No. This was for the best.

Now here I was, trying not to sob in front of all these strangers, my chest uncomfortably tight, my belly in knots, aching with missing Kyle and Katie, and I had only just left.

I can’t do this.

I can’t.

How can I turn my back on them?

I loved them.

So damn much.

But what if I hurt them?

I didn’t trust myself not to screw up.

I could almost hear my father’s voice in my ear. He’d always been full of sage wisdom when Meg and I needed it most.

That’s life, Whitney Rose. You mess up. You deal with the consequences, and then you move on. You learn from them. You become a better person.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a message from Meg.