To Have and to Hate

His mouth travels from my mouth, down my body, stopping on the side of my neck, then down to the dip of my pajama top. He uses one hand to tug the material lower, exposing more sensitive skin to his lips. I’m not proud of how weak I feel beneath him, how pliable I’ve become. I’m his in a scary way.

He exposes one of my breasts to cool air and then hot lips, a roll of his tongue, and then I arch up off the bed, feeling so much all at once that I cry out.

He likes that. He likes to hear what he does to me, because he continues, moving to the other side, undressing me from the top down. My tank bunches at my waist as he shoves it out of the way, scraping his teeth delicately along the side of my stomach. Then, like he can’t help himself, he bites gently and my eyes squeeze closed. I’ll bear a light mark there in the morning from that. God, why is that so sexy?

He talks to me while he moves down my body. Words spill from him almost like he’s forgotten I can hear them. Not complete sentences, just thoughts that will become branded in my memory.

Beautiful.

Fuck.

Your skin…it’s velvet.

Your thighs.

This.

His fingers dip down into my shorts, brushing right over the center of me. He finds my desire and it’s like a release valve; it makes him come unhinged. He sinks two fingers into me and his mouth finds mine again. His kiss is hot and impatient as he pumps his fingers in and out, picking up the pace, ensuring I’m ready for him. I could let him continue like this, and it’d be a repeat of what we did in his office earlier. I already feel my toes starting to curl, my body so anxious for another orgasm, but I want more this time. I want him to experience it all with me.

My hand moves over his body, dragging down his spine and around his waist until I can brush past the hem of his sweatpants and boxer briefs and touch my fingertips to his hard length. He jerks in response and feeds a low groan into my mouth.

I gain the courage to wrap my hand around him and start to slide up and down. His fingers still inside me for a moment as he lets me do all the work. His kiss breaks off and his eyes pinch closed, like he’s trying to focus just on what my hand is doing to him. I unfurl a victorious smile. I love this.

He lets me work my grasp up and down him a few more times, pumping his hips to match my pace, and then, swiftly, he grips my wrist and stops my progress. His eyes open and his gaze snaps to mine. My smile fades slowly as he regains control of the situation, moving his hand out of my shorts and peeling himself up and off me. He towers above me on the bed as he drags his attention down my body. He acts like he’ll have me beneath him for the rest of eternity, like there’s absolutely no rush at all as he takes his time studying me. My skin flushes as he licks his bottom lip and drags his heated gaze down to where he’s pressed up on his knees, right over my hips. I follow his lead, taking in my flimsy top and hiked-up shorts.

He starts to drag my clothes down over my hip bones and thighs, taking everything I’m wearing. I’m naked on the bed when he tosses my clothes onto the ground and steps back to look at me.

I don’t cover up. I don’t even want to. Not when he’s looking at me like that. Not when I hold all the power.

“I’ll be right back,” he tells me as he slips out of the room, only to return a moment later with a condom in hand. I watch him undress, tear open the foil, and fist his length, pumping it in his hand.

I’m slack-jawed as I stare, completely and utterly turned on.

He doesn’t even notice my reaction to him, though, too busy admiring me the same way. His gaze darts across my body like he’s a kid in a candy store, too overwhelmed to decide which treat he wants to lick first.

He puts on the condom and then moves to crawl back on top of me.

I gulp down a sudden frenzy of nerves.

His gaze flits to mine with a question of consent. I reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him down flush on top of me. It’s a yes spoken with my body, a plea for him to continue. His mouth presses to the side of my neck and then he drags his lips along my jaw and up to my mouth as he settles himself between my legs. I part my thighs gently, allowing him in.