“Before all of this, my life was okay. I didn’t want for anything so I guess that’s where the princess shit comes from, but I wasn’t thrilled with my life. I’m smart and educated, but my own father didn’t believe I could lead the family. He preferred Brendan. Always.”
Even thinking about it now, when that life was so long ago, I was pissed off. “You think he cared or changed his mind whenever I pointed out that his biggest nemesis was a woman? Nope. It didn’t matter, having a vagina made me less than my idiot brother. Ironic, considering how rich he became selling pussy.”
“So you were aware of all parts of your family business? Even the ugly bits?”
I nodded. “Yeah, who do you think kept the books? Bookkeeping is a proper job for a woman. That and wife, mother, and fuckhole.” I knew I sounded bitter, but I couldn’t help it. I was bitter dammit.
“Really? I assumed a man in Ronan’s position would be a bit more open-minded.”
I barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I thought that too. Once. But the fact that he didn’t come looking for me, that he didn’t threaten every motherfucker in this town to open their doors to prove they didn’t have me, tells me everything I need to know about how important I am to him. To the family.” Which was to say that I was just plain fucking unimportant.
“Families are complicated.” Charlie let out a low exhale and shook his head. “I’m my dad’s boss now. And my uncle’s, plus a bunch of old grumpy bastards who’ve been around since I was born. It’s complicated shit.”
“Complicated, sure. But you are the opposite of not important to your family and your MC. You’re the top dog.” I had to look away from the sympathy shining in his eyes because if it turned to pity, I’d lose my shit inside this Chinese buffet.
“No one would blame you if you wanted to go back.” His words were gentle. Kind. And annoying as fuck.
“I don’t,” I shot back angrily. “What kind of fucking idiot would want to go back after what happened?”
Charlie nodded and stole a crab dumpling from my plate. “But no one would blame you if you did, that’s all I’m saying Savannah.”
“Good to know, but I’m never going back. My dad and Brendan can have a good fucking life together. Without me. I won’t even go to their funerals. Just the reading of the will.”
“You mean that?”
I gave a sharp nod, ignoring the twinge in my belly at the thought of my father or brother, dead. It was inevitable in this life we all chose, but death was final. Permanent.
Charlie paused, and I could tell he had something on his mind. What bomb was he going to drop on me? That my free ride courtesy of the president of the Reckless Bastards was over? That I’d have to bust my own nut from now own? Just when I liked Charlie’s company? At least a little.
What else could put that dark cast to his gray eyes?
He drew a breath and looked down at his fried rice. “Brendan is dead,” he said.
The words came out quiet and bland, and I blinked to focus my eyes.
“I still feel the same way, Charlie. No need to test me.” It was kind of cute how he cared, how he tried to get me to change my mind.
He raised his head and looked deep into my eyes. “I’m not testing you, Savannah. He’s dead.”
A rising tide of emotion came over me. “You’re lying just to see if I mean it.”
Charlie tapped his thumb on the table and looked off into the distance.
“We killed him just before Virgil Ashby’s wedding. He stormed into the bachelor party with one of the Black Jacks and I put a bullet in him myself. Well, me and Jasper Ashby.” He stared at me, his gaze serious, and that was when I knew he spoke the truth.
So that was it. I felt a lot of things at his words. Surprised that Brendan hadn’t made it to an old man, a little shaken that my older brother was dead. Before he became a power hungry asshole, he’d taught me how to shoot a gun, how to aim for center mass, how to spit.
Then a flash of pain seared deep into my chest. My brother is dead. But finally there was relief. Not hope or grief, but a kind of lightening of the darkness that meant he was gone. I didn’t know where it had come from or why. But I let that feeling wash over me and smiled.
For a moment, I thought Charlie would put his hand on mine. But he said, “It’s okay to be sad, Savannah. He was your brother for longer than he was a prick.”