I look up into Danny’s eyes. They speak to me amid the chaos of fire, destruction, and panic, and all I can think in this moment is how much more destruction there will be if I don’t let go. More death. More hurt. Clarity hits and sticks. I was deluded. Mad to think this mess can be sorted out. Mad to think I could spill my sins on Danny and think it’ll all be okay. It won’t be. How can it be? Danny won’t kill me for betraying him, yet his rejection will feel like death. But Nox will kill me. Call me stupid, but I’d rather call the shots on how I go. It’ll be the first time in my life that I’ve ever made a decision for me. I can’t be with Danny. That’s my cold, hard reality, and now, in this moment, I don’t want to live if I can’t be. I’ve lost too much already. I can’t lose him too.
“Don’t you fucking dare let go,” Danny growls, releasing his spare hand that’s holding on to the mangled metal doorframe and dropping to his stomach, extending it to me. “Take it. God help me, Rose, take my other hand.”
I find myself shaking my head, flexing my sweaty hand in his, trying to free myself from his grip.
“No,” he yells, scrambling to reach for my free, swaying hand. “Rose, I’ll fucking kill you myself, I swear.”
I stare at him. Silent. My world is mine again.
“Rose, for fuck’s sake,” he pants down at me. “I didn’t just spill my fucking heart out, tell you my whole miserable fucking story, for you to bail on me now. Take my fucking hand. You don’t get to die now.”
I’m dead either way. I yank my hand free and feel gravity claim me, pulling me to my death.
“No!” Danny lunges forward, seizing my wrist and roaring as Brad grabs the waist of his jeans to stop him falling over the edge with me.
“Fucking hell, Danny,” Brad bellows, breathless.
“God damn you, Rose.” Danny looks me straight in the eye, his face awash with fury as he starts shuffling back with the help of Brad, dragging me up over the edge, my thighs and chest scraping on the rough, jagged concrete as I go. “What the fuck?” he yells, shoving me to my back and flopping on top of me, his breathing shot. I stare at him, dazed. I’ve seen anger on Danny Black before. On countless occasions. But those times pale in comparison to what I’m seeing now. Pure, raw, burning rage. And it frightens me. For the first time, he’s frightening me. I look away from his fiery eyes and get yanked back to face him. His mouth is twisted violently, his scar deep and glowing. “I didn’t make love to a woman for the first fucking time in my life for her to end this.” He virtually pushes my face away. “But at least I know where I stand.” He gets up, his look pure filth, and he keeps it on me for a long, painful time.
“We need you downstairs,” Brad says, edging out of the room.
“On my way.” Danny grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet, giving me a quick once-over before pulling me toward the door. I stagger along mindlessly, my head ready to burst, my mind in tatters. The chaos extends into the main house, men running everywhere in a panic. We meet Esther at the bottom of the stairs, and I’m handed over to her like a piece of discarded trash. “She’s covered in cuts. See to it.” Danny disappears out the door, and I look down my front. I’m filthy, dirt and soot smearing me. My hand rests on my stomach over Danny’s shredded shirt, and Esther moves in quickly, opening one of the buttons to reveal a mess of scrapes and raw grazes. It doesn’t hurt. Nothing hurts.
Except my heart.
Chapter 19
DANNY
* * *
Fucking carnage. As I stand amid the rubble, slowly circling on the spot, I question for the first time in my existence what my purpose is. We’ve lost one man. Freddie. He was on the gate when it was hit. My personal suite has been ripped apart, and the police are swarming my property.
I dip and shift a lump of brick, reaching past it and pulling at a piece of material that’s buried. The silver dress I bought Rose. An image of her face flashes through my mind, a face that screamed defeat as she hung from my hand off the edge of the terrace. Moments before that, she was gazing adoringly at me as I swirled my tongue through the slickness of her addictive pussy. Something shifted between us during the night, and it’s shifted right back. I was distracted. While I was lost in her, my men were dying and my house was being destroyed. I nearly lost her too.