Crank (Crank 1)

my neighbor’s boyfriend.

I ran inside, tried

to breathe

to laugh

to silence

the drumming inside my head.

Went into the kitchen

to get a drink

to get away

to get a glimpse

of the biggest cockroach I’d ever seen.

Toss-and-Turn Night

Bone-oven hot outside,

swamp-cooler cool three

feet up the hallway,

temperature in Dad’s

claustrophobic guest

room: lukewarm.

The bed was a monstrous box

spring. Thin, mildewed foam,

two sprays of Lysol, and one

thrift-store sheet were all

that lay between

Bedzilla and me.

Tried my right side. Kept

seeing the kitchen

cockroach, the one I

tried to pretend was

only a Mormon cricket,

Los Alamos—grown.