a beginning?
I wish I could feel. Or maybe
not. If I could, I would feel loss.
Hunter. Mom. Jake. Leigh. Even
Scott, who has always been there
for me.
They say meth affects the brain.
Destroys the pleasure center.
Could it smash the pain center too?
Would feeling pain be better than
feeling numb?
Homeless
Out of Nevada, we touch down
in California. Unsure of where to go
from here, we decide we need food.
McD’s okay? We should
probably eat cheap for a while.
We’re on a downswing.
Sleepy. Hungry. Empty. “Cheap
is good, as long as there’s a lot of it.”
Ronald would be proud.
Big Macs and fries, times two?
“Times two, twice.” Fuck it.
I can invest a few calories. Not
like I’ve eaten a whole lot lately.
Okay. But you know I’m not
real fond of Two-Ton-Tessies.
“Love me fat, love me skinny.
Just keep loving me. Hey,
sounds like a song. Love me—”