kissing me again. Only this time,
his lips move across my neck,
down over my collarbone. To
the soft mounds beneath. I want
to say, “Wait.” But it won’t let me.
I can barely catch my breath, but
this time for all the right (wrong!)
reasons. My heart jackhammers
in my chest. Bryce must hear!
His lips stop traveling my torso,
long enough to encourage me
out of my jeans. His come off too,
and I might stop to fold everything
correctly, but it insists I just leave
our clothes heaped together
and take a good long look at Bryce.
Except for sex ed pictures, I’ve never
seen a penis before. But I’m def
seeing one now. “No,” I want
to say. But it reaches out. Touches
Bryce there. Likes how the skin
feels. Likes the heat. “Stop,”
I want to say, but it makes Autumn
(me?) do things she doesn’t know
how to do. I realize suddenly that
it means to make her go all the way.
This is like watching a movie, only
I can’t find the remote. No way
to pause
. No way to reverse.