Fallout (Crank 3)

Those Christmases I understand

the power of family. My three

brothers will be there this year.

I so wish I could be there too.

THE ONLY PLACE

I’d rather be is with Kyle. He’s all I can

think about as I help make dinner,

Tanya chattering away about how much

you’ll love Roosevelt and church on Sunday.

All I can think about at the table, Walter

griping about the goddamn power bill.

All I can think about as Simone and I

load the dishwasher in total silence.

Wonder what he’s doing, as I brush

my teeth, get ready for bed. Wonder

if he’s thinking about me, too, as Eliana

borrows one of my well-loved books.

Wonder if I’ll ever see him again as Rosa

practices for her Sunday School pageant.

Wonder if he’s written me off already

as I crawl between the scratchy sheets.

IT IS WALTER

Who comes to handle the lights-out

bed check. He knocks, but doesn’t

wait for an invitation to enter.

Simone, in a short, gauzy nightgown,

barely covers her long legs, and Walter

is all eyes. I swear, he starts to salivate.

No. No way. Not her. And not me.

Good night, ladies. He flips off the lights,