but it isn’t hard to let
all that stored anger But it’s hard to talk
come rippling out. about resentment,
I should get help. bottled up inside.
I have it easier than
most people. So why
feel sorry for myself?
Not like very many
people have intact
families. One parent
or the other is likely Looking at it that way,
absent. Shacked up I’m pretty normal. So
Knocked up. Fucked up. why do I feel like some
sort of a freak? Bigger
question: Why take it
out on people I love?
ALL THIS FILTERS THROUGH
My brain in the time it takes
Mom to cream two cups of
butter with two cups of brown
sugar, add two eggs, and beat
well. And despite every warning,
once the mixer noise stops,
I have to spout words I swore
to keep to myself so as not to
hurt her. “I met my father.”
Well, of course you met your
f—, she starts, back to me.
Her shoulders tense, and very
slowly, she turns toward me.